Sheva Rajaee, "Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships" (New Harbinger, 2022)
Dec 15, 2024
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Sheva Rajaee is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the director of the Center for Anxiety and OCD in Los Angeles. In this enlightening discussion, she explores Relationship OCD, shedding light on how obsessive doubt can undermine relationships. She shares her personal journey from marketing to mental health, emphasizing the need for emotional resilience. Rajaee highlights the importance of love as a practice, challenges traditional ideals of intimacy, and introduces a comprehensive masterclass to tackle these issues. Embrace uncertainty and foster genuine connections!
Sheva Rajai discusses the significance of reframing our thoughts about love as opportunities for personal growth rather than seeking absolute certainty in relationships.
The podcast emphasizes the importance of a supportive community in romantic partnerships to alleviate pressure and foster individual growth within the relationship.
Deep dives
The Impact of Cultural Backgrounds on Therapeutic Perspectives
Shiva Rajai shares the profound influence of her upbringing as the daughter of Iranian immigrants in Southern California on her career as a marriage and family therapist. Growing up in two distinct cultures offered her unique insights into the complexities of identity and relationships. This bicultural experience inspired her to pursue a career in therapy after recognizing the transformative power of her own personal therapy sessions. Ultimately, her background fueled her passion for helping others navigate their multifaceted experiences, particularly around issues of anxiety and relationship dysfunction.
Understanding and Challenging Relationship OCD
The concept of Relationship OCD (ROCD) is central to Rajai's work, focusing on obsessive doubts and fears within romantic partnerships. She highlights the importance of reframing thoughts surrounding love and commitment, emphasizing that romantic relationships are not merely about 'finding the one' but are instead opportunities for personal growth. By actively working to overcome compulsive behaviors and obsessive thoughts, individuals can establish healthier romantic connections. Rajai aims to provide readers with practical tools to recognize and challenge their anxieties, promoting a balanced view of love and intimacy.
The Role of Community and Support in Romantic Relationships
Rajai underscores the necessity of community in fostering healthy romantic relationships, particularly in light of modern misconceptions about love. She critiques the myth that a single partner should fulfill all emotional and social needs, advocating for a broader support network. This broader perspective can alleviate pressure on relationships, allowing partners to focus on their individual growth. By recognizing love as a collaborative journey rather than a solitary pursuit, couples can cultivate deeper connections that prioritize mutual personal development.
Navigating Uncertainty and Embracing Discovery in Love
The book encourages embracing uncertainty in relationships, urging individuals to approach love with an explorer's mindset rather than seeking absolute certainty or perfection. Rajai articulates that the fear of making the wrong choice can lead to paralysis, emphasizing the importance of living authentically amidst life's ambiguities. She illustrates that the journey of love involves navigating open questions and challenges without the expectation of definitive answers. Ultimately, this perspective fosters resilience and personal growth, allowing individuals to appreciate the complexities and joys of romantic connections.
Do you obsess over your partner's flaws? Does thinking about the future of your relationship leave you imagining the worst-case scenario? When it comes to navigating the world of romantic relationships, some feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear are to be expected. But if your fears so extreme that they threaten to destroy an otherwise healthy relationship, you may have relationship OCD--a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that causes chronic obsessive doubt and anxiety in relationships. So, how can you free yourself to discover deeper intimacy and security?
Relationship OCD (New Harbinger, 2022) offers an evidence-based, cognitive behavioral approach to finding relief from relationship anxiety, obsessive doubt, and fear of commitment. You'll learn to challenge the often-distorted thought patterns that trigger harmful emotions, increase your ability to think rationally, and ultimately accept the presence of intrusive thinking while maintaining the values of a healthy relationship.
Relationships are the ultimate unknown. If you're ready to let go of needing to know for sure, this book will help you find satisfaction and thrive in your romantic relationships--in all their wonderful uncertainty.