Episode 11: For Whom the Bell Tolls, Part 2

Yes, it's part two of our testosterone-soaked series on For Whom the Bell Tolls, this time with 100% more rants about sex! Also rants about discernment, rants about Old People, rants about Kids Today—this episode is just full of rants. 
But how could it not be, given that our wise and noble heroes begin the episode by talking about Maria, certainly the most problematic character they've encountered in their literary ramblings thus far. Is she a symbol of Spain, or a vehicle for the romance of the moment, or just a lazy misogynist wish-fulfillment character? Or D) all of the above? 
Our heroes must deal with all of that and more. And then they have to deal with the fact that this book contains, like, sex scenes and stuff. Should they have read this book? Should you have read this book? Should anybody read any books? What's a Christian to do??!?!?!?