
 The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast
 The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast CNLP 355 | John Eldredge on Living at an Unsustainable Pace, What Men and Women Most Long For, and How to Get Your Soul and Life Back
 Jul 21, 2020 
 John Eldredge, bestselling author and counselor, dives into how to reclaim your life from an unsustainable pace. He discusses the core longings of men for validation and women for intimacy, while reflecting on the enduring impact of his book, Wild at Heart. Eldredge highlights the detrimental effects of social media on mental health and shares practical tools like the 'One Minute Pause' to reset your day. He emphasizes the importance of soul care for leaders, advocating for a balanced life filled with beauty and connection. 
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Core Masculine Longing
- Every boy's core question is "Do I have what it takes?" and masculinity seeks validation of competence and strength.
- When that question isn't answered by fathers or mentors, men seek validation in work, status, or relationships, causing harm.
Female Longing For Intimacy
- Every little girl searches for intimacy: to be chosen, seen, delighted in, and fought for by someone who loves her.
- Lack of a loving father predicts greater risk behaviors because girls seek affirmation elsewhere.
Leader Admits Creating Unsustainable Culture
- John admitted he created an intense, unsustainable culture at Ransomed Heart because he personally ran hard and expected others to match him.
- That led to a culture reset with more soul care, play, and boundaries for staff and family.










