What if your goal to stop drinking is actually making it harder to succeed?

In this episode, Sara and Barb open up about their personal struggles with alcohol, shame, and self-doubt—and what happens when they shift focus from staying sober to finding peace. With the help of Coach Lily, Sara learns how to set emotional goals instead of sobriety goals, reframing her "alive goal" from white-knuckling abstinence to creating inner peace. She discovers that joy is a skill, not a personality trait, and that the journey to change can be meaningful, even enjoyable.

Barb, coached by Pam, shares how she relapsed after 18 months alcohol-free and fell into a spiral of hiding, guilt, and fear. Through compassionate coaching, she begins to see that her experience doesn’t erase her success—and that her desire to feel free is more powerful than her fear of failure. Both women realize that emotional goals—like peace, freedom, or joy—can provide lasting motivation where rules and willpower fall short. If you’ve ever felt stuck in an all-or-nothing mindset, this episode offers a powerful shift in perspective.

In Sara’s session:

Why day-counting made sobriety feel like a life sentence

How to set emotional goals instead of sobriety goals for deeper motivation

Understanding the fear of failure and how it can trigger relapse

Reframing “doing the work” as joyful, not punishing

Letting go of the belief that peace is lazy or selfish

Finding freedom through emotional self-inquiry

Turning “I won’t drink” into “I want peace”

and other topics…

In Barb’s session:

Returning to alcohol after 1.5 years alcohol-free

Feeling shame and hiding drinking from loved ones

Using emotional goals to rebuild confidence

Releasing fear of failure and embracing hope

Using past success as evidence you can change again

The power of curiosity over self-judgment

Reframing relapse as data, not disaster

Creating a new goal: waking up at peace, not in regret

and more…

Lily Weis is a Certified This Naked Mind Coach who helps others find peace, purpose, and joy beyond alcohol. After realizing that drinking was making her world feel small and disconnected, Lily feared that quitting would mean losing fun, friendship, and connection. But what she discovered instead was freedom. Today, Lily lives with a deep sense of inner joy and emotional resilience—even on hard days. She works exclusively with members of The Path, where she supports others in creating vibrant, alcohol-free lives filled with meaning and adventure.

Pam McRae is a Certified TNM Coach, Master Life Coach, and Gray Area Drinking Coach. Since rethinking her relationship with alcohol in 2017, she considers herself a non-drinker. Pam empowers others through her Freedom Connection group coaching, where people support each other in their alcohol journeys. She also uses her experience and knowledge to guide you through tough times such as grief.

Learn more about Coach Pam: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/pam-mcrae/

184 | Laureano Fights the Astros, Tatis is Electric, Angels Get Swept