Per the Cambridge Dictionary, to bicker is “to argue about things that are not important.” Bickering is therefore unproductive by design- and as any parent can tell you the more trivial the thing their kids are arguing about, the more frustrating it is for a parent to listen to.

So why do our kids bicker so incessantly? Are they actually intending to drive us batty, or is there more at work? And if parents are supposed to “just ignore it” until three seconds before the face-scratching starts, how can we sense the perfect moment to intervene?

Professor Laurie Kramer, director of the Family Resiliency Center at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, says siblings bicker because they can:

“These are very safe relationships for children, so they feel they can argue and express their feelings without significant repercussions.”

Margaret says it’s important to remember: we are the mediator, not the judge.

Margaret’s father, who *is* a judge, would recite “Children Should Not Disagree,” a poem written by one Isaac Watts in 1715 , whenever his own children bickered. It reportedly served as a somewhat effective deterrent, so you might want to give it a shot.

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