We read the papers so you don’t have to – now five days a week! Today: Wine with the nanny gets Boris in hot water with Carrie. Who could have predicted that? Will firearms cops really lay down their guns for good? HS2 in the doo-doo. And the papers go doolally for the fabulous life of Joan Collins.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedy writer Jason Hazeley and The Critic magazine’s political sketchwriter Rob Hutton to give today’s papers a right “going over”.

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Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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Boris and nanny in wine time trouble – plus armed cops on gun strike