Addicted to the High of Growing | Date Your Wife | Ep 017

Today we’re going to share with you an intense, potent and powerful interview with Danielle from the Warrior Empire event in December 2016. It was the first time Danielle took to the stage where she talked about what it's like to be a woman married to a man living the Warrior’s Way.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: When a Wife Fights the Change Her Husband Wants to Make

• In the beginning, Danielle was completely against how Garrett was showing up. He was going to self help seminars and making her feel guilty for not going with him. He continued challenging her, which caused her to reevaluate who she was and who she wanted to become.
• Danielle: Put yourself in your wife's shoes. If she started implementing change, how would you react? People in general don’t like change because it’s scary. From a wife’s perspective, you can’t overwhelm her, but rather lead by example in the same way you would lead children.

QUESTION: Gentlemen, what is the way you initiate growth and change in your partner?

Point #2: Choosing In

• There was a point in time when Danielle had to choose to be all in for herself and for their marriage. Garrett was moving in the direction he was going and he was committed over time to a certain path, while at the same time they were both trying to recover from chaos as a couple.
• Danielle: I felt that both of us were fighting and neither of us was ready to give up. We were both not necessarily choosing in, but we weren’t out and were still very much connected. All it takes is that little piece of connection to rekindle and to rebuild.

QUESTION: How can you "choose in" to your marriage everyday to keep the flame burning or to rekindle a fading flame?

Point #3: Sex and Marriage

• Danielle: It’s give and take. You have to play the role a little bit and let go of your ego. In order to build that sexual chemistry that seems to leave after you get married, think about the feeling you had when you were dating and do what you did back then: You got your car washed, you got a new pair of shoes, you planned the date, you were flirty.
• How did sex therapy help us? I felt like I could say what I was thinking without worrying about upsetting Garrett. Having a therapist is like having a sounding board where it’s immediately less triggering for both sides, although Garrett got triggered to the point where during a session he jumped up and did pushups because he was so pissed.

QUESTION: What do you do to keep the sexual chemistry strong in your relationship?

Point #4: Collision

• Danielle: Whether the wife works or not, when couples grow, the wife goes into this “I can do everything” mode where it seems kind of masculine. It's actually more cold and calculated where we don't come across as very feminine, but instead we're in focus mode trying to get shit done.
• Garrett: Gentlemen, the more you encourage your wife  to change, the more she will rise in power, and the more collisions are going to take place. As Danielle has risen in power as a creator and a producer, her masculinity has also risen, so there’s this collision that exists inside of her. Sometimes the collision we experience is not as lovers or as a couple, but instead as two masculine energies colliding.

QUESTION: What happens when you collide with your spouse?

Point #5: Living the Warrior's Way

• Danielle: I’m addicted to the high of growing where it makes me feel like comfortable is no longer an option. Progressing as a person is now a high for me. How can I stay where I am when the sky’s the limit? Where things were once scary and chaotic in our life and relationship, we’re now in a much healthier space.
•  I look at where we are now and the only thing I feel is gratitude, humility and excitement. If this has happened in the last five years, what’s going to happen in the next five years? I get glimpses of the future sometimes and I'm like, "Oh shit, that's so cool!"

QUESTION: How have you and your spouse changed as a direct result of living the Warrior's Way?

Communication Challenge:

Take some time to have a conversation around this idea of collision. How can you use this tool to better serve your relationship?

Date Night Topic:

On your next Date Night, take a trip down memory lane and talk about what you both used to do in the early days of your dating and start implementing those things to rekindle and ignite the flame of sexual chemistry between you.

Quote of the Week:

"Once men experience Warrior, they become more invested in their children, which produces a new kind of chaos while they figure out how to balance this with their role as a husband, and as a hunter and provider."

--Garrett J White

"No matter who you’re with, you’re going to have problems. With Garrett and I, it made more sense to rebuild our relationship than to burn it to the ground."

--Danielle K White