#178 – Emily Oster on what the evidence actually says about pregnancy and parenting
Feb 1, 2024
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Emily Oster, a Brown University economist and author of evidence-based books on pregnancy and early childhood, discusses the complexities of parenting decisions. She debunks common myths around pregnancy, like the caffeine debate, and advocates for personalized mental health care. Oster emphasizes the role of doulas in enhancing childbirth experiences and explores the societal pressures surrounding breastfeeding. She advises new parents on balancing career and family life, stressing that stable caregiving matters more than adhering to conventional parenting wisdom.
Putting babies to sleep on their back reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
Introducing allergens early in a baby's life can help reduce the risk of allergies.
Getting a doula can significantly reduce the risk of C-sections and provide support during childbirth.
When making decisions about work and childcare, parents should prioritize what feels right for them and their family, rather than societal expectations.
While test scores are important, factors like a loving home environment and access to basic needs play a significant role in a child's well-being.
Deep dives
Key Points 1
The importance of putting babies to sleep on their back to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is emphasized.
Key Points 2
Introducing allergens early in a baby's life can help reduce the risk of allergies.
Key Points 3
Getting a doula can significantly reduce the risk of C-sections and provide support during childbirth.
Key Points 4
The recovery after vaginal birth is typically easier and faster compared to recovery after a C-section.
Consider Your Own Desires and Preferences
When making decisions about work and childcare, it's important to first think about what you as a parent want and what works best for your family. This involves examining your career ambitions, the amount of time you want to spend with your children, and how you want to structure your life. Avoid getting caught up in societal pressures or assumptions about what is expected, and instead focus on what feels right for you.
Test Scores are not the Only Measure of Success
When considering what is best for your child, it's essential to recognize that test scores are not the only indicator of success. While test scores may reflect certain aspects of cognitive abilities, there are numerous other factors that contribute to a child's well-being, including a loving and stable home environment, protection from toxic stress, and access to basic needs like food and sleep. Keep in mind that small differences in test scores associated with various childcare choices should not be the sole determining factor in decision-making.
Limited Impact of Specific Childcare Choices on Test Scores
Research suggests that specific childcare choices, such as working or staying at home, do not significantly impact test scores. While there may be small effects observed in certain studies, the overall influence on test scores is minor. Factors like the quality of childcare and stability of home life may have more significant effects on cognitive development, but even those effects tend to be subtle. It's important not to overly prioritize specific childcare choices based solely on expected impact on test scores.
Consider the Impact of Flexible Work Schedules and Getting Help
When making decisions about work and childcare, consider the flexibility and adjustability of your work schedule. Some jobs may offer more room for flexibility, making it easier to balance work and parenting responsibilities. Additionally, getting help, such as hiring a caregiver or relying on family members for support, can significantly alleviate the practical challenges of balancing work and childcare. Embrace the idea of seeking assistance to help create a more sustainable work-life balance.
The impact of having children on relationships and careers
Having children can have both positive and negative effects on relationships and careers. Research shows that people often become less happy in their relationships after having children, especially in the first year. The decline in satisfaction tends to slowly recover over time but may not fully return to pre-child levels. Increased conflict and new responsibilities contribute to the decline in relationship satisfaction. However, factors such as planned pregnancies and regular communication about expectations and needs can mitigate some of the negative effects. It is important for couples to have open conversations and check-ins about their relationship and to prioritize self-care, including getting enough sleep, to support the well-being of both partners and their relationship.
Considering the decision to have children and the impact on fertility
When thinking about the decision to have children, it is important to consider personal values, lifestyle preferences, and career goals. There is no perfect time to have children, and the timing may involve trade-offs. Fertility declines gradually with age, and while there is no sudden drop at age 35 as commonly believed, it becomes harder to conceive as women get older due to natural changes in the body. IVF can help overcome some fertility challenges but may not guarantee sustained fertility for an extended period of time. Freezing eggs at a younger age is an option to preserve fertility, but there is limited long-term data on the efficacy and outcomes of this procedure. Ultimately, the decision to have children and the timing should be based on individual circumstances, values, and informed discussions with medical professionals.
"I think at various times — before you have the kid, after you have the kid — it's useful to sit down and think about: What do I want the shape of this to look like? What time do I want to be spending? Which hours? How do I want the weekends to look? The things that are going to shape the way your day-to-day goes, and the time you spend with your kids, and what you're doing in that time with your kids, and all of those things: you have an opportunity to deliberately plan them. And you can then feel like, 'I've thought about this, and this is a life that I want. This is a life that we're trying to craft for our family, for our kids.' And that is distinct from thinking you're doing a good job in every moment — which you can't achieve. But you can achieve, 'I'm doing this the way that I think works for my family.'" — Emily Oster
In today’s episode, host Luisa Rodriguez speaks to Emily Oster — economist at Brown University, host of the ParentData podcast, and the author of three hugely popular books that provide evidence-based insights into pregnancy and early childhood.
Common pregnancy myths and advice that Emily disagrees with — and why you should probably get a doula.
Whether it’s fine to continue with antidepressants and coffee during pregnancy.
What the data says — and doesn’t say — about outcomes from parenting decisions around breastfeeding, sleep training, childcare, and more.
Which factors really matter for kids to thrive — and why that means parents shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.
How to reduce parental guilt and anxiety with facts, and reject judgemental “Mommy Wars” attitudes when making decisions that are best for your family.
The effects of having kids on career ambitions, pay, and productivity — and how the effects are different for men and women.
Practical advice around managing the tradeoffs between career and family.
What to consider when deciding whether and when to have kids.
Relationship challenges after having kids, and the protective factors that help.
And plenty more.
Producer and editor: Keiran Harris Audio Engineering Lead: Ben Cordell Technical editing: Simon Monsour and Milo McGuire Additional content editing: Katy Moore and Luisa Rodriguez Transcriptions: Katy Moore
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