Losing My Mormon Eternal Companion - Rebecca Lucero Jones | Ep. 2085

Nov 17, 2025

Rebecca Lucero Jones, a professor and licensed marriage and family therapist, shares her poignant journey as a widow within the Mormon faith. She discusses the complexities of grief after losing her husband, Isaac, and the cultural challenges that widows face. Rebecca reflects on her upbringing, the impact of her parents' divorce, and her experiences with marriage and motherhood. She also delves into the theological implications of eternal marriage and explores how her grief reshaped her career and community relationships, making her story both touching and enlightening.

03:08:12

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ANECDOTE

Early Family Trauma Shaped Faith

Rebecca describes her childhood trauma from her parents' acrimonious divorce and her father's excommunication.
She recalls police involvement, aligning with her mother, and long-lasting grief shaping her early faith.

insights

INSIGHT

Sacred-Grove Experience Cemented Commitment

Rebecca's Palmyra sacred-grove experience felt like personal confirmation that God knew her by name.
That encounter solidified her willingness to give up popularity for faith and shaped lifelong resilience.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

BYU Dating Culture Felt Exclusionary

At BYU Rebecca experienced culture shock: dating patterns, appearance pressures, and disordered-eating influences.
She witnessed men preferring anorexic women and felt excluded for being intellectual and different.

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Rebecca Introduces Herself and Career

02:08 • 2min

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Early Childhood, Divorce, and Excommunication

04:29 • 14min

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Faith Formation and Strict Upbringing

18:10 • 15min

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Palmyra Visit and Spiritual Confirmation

33:33 • 9min

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BYU Expectations vs. Reality

42:04 • 11min

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Body Image, Eating, and Cultural Pressures

53:24 • 16min

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Mission to Russia and Leadership Lessons

01:09:37 • 7min

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Return from Mission and Reintegration Challenges

01:16:10 • 11min

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Dating Return- and Closeted Men

01:27:04 • 19min

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Workplace Attraction and Crossing Boundaries

01:46:32 • 13min

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Graduate School and Meeting Isaac

01:59:12 • 8min

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Courtship, Cultural Tensions, and Marriage

02:07:02 • 15min

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Family Life, Finances, and Parenthood

02:22:28 • 4min

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What Happened the Day of the Accident

02:26:21 • 5min

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Immediate Support, Funeral, and Cultural Practices

02:31:32 • 3min

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Grief, Theology, and Eternal Marriage Questions

02:34:05 • 11min

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The Physical, Psychological Reality of Grief

02:45:15 • 15min

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Community, Leadership, and Receiving Care

02:59:52 • 2min

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Widowhood, Career Decisions, and PhD

03:01:42 • 4min

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Working Motherhood, Perceptions, and Research

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Today we are kicking off our two-part series with Rebecca Lucero Jones, who is here to share her story of losing her husband and the unique complications widows face within the Mormon faith. We will be examining the question of what the Mormon afterlife looks like for widows.

In Part 1, Rebecca describes her Mormon upbringing and her eventual marriage to her first husband, Isaac, with whom she had two children before he was tragically killed in a car accident.

Be sure to join us again later this week for the conclusion of Rebecca’s Mormon story and her efforts to obtain a second-sealing clearance from LDS Church leadership.

This is a fascinating and important issue faced by widows in the Mormon church—one we feel deserves to be brought to light.

00:00:00 Introduction

00:04:44 Rebecca’s Mormon story begins - born in Missouri

00:06:00 Her father was ex-communicated and parent were divorced

00:12:07 How this shaped her view of her mom vs her dad

00:16:16 What message did this send her about the importance of living the gospel?

00:20:46 Teenage years & dating

00:31:28 Palmyra, NY spiritual experience

00:32:28 Experience in the Sacred Grove

00:38:17 Did the idea of a heavenly father fill the absence of her own father?

00:39:44 Deciding to attend BYU & what to study

00:50:58 Dating at BYU

00:52:24 Had roommates who were anorexic at BYU - they got more dates

01:00:54 There is no space for intellectual women in Mormonism

01:06:16 Deciding to go on a mission

01:09:00 Was called to serve in Russia

01:20:13 Coming home from her mission she felt she lost a sense of purpose

01:22:48 Dating gay men

01:25:59 Dating a man who came out to her as bisexual

01:40:45 Going to therapy through LDS services

01:49:58 Dating in Texas

01:52:55 Getting married - a lot of people questioning them

02:13:25 Their wedding

02:17:41 Had their first child in 2012

02:28:39 What is it like as a Mormon woman to have your eternal companion die?

02:39:08 What did she feel about being a single widowed mom in the church?

02:57:18 Persuing her masters and PhD

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