What to Say (and Not Say) When Supporting Someone Struggling with Mental Health

Supporting a loved one through depression or a mental health crisis can feel overwhelming, especially when you don’t know what to say or how to help. In this episode, Sam Dylan Finch joins us to share five specific, real-life ways that friends and family members have supported him during his darkest times.

From the power of simply listening to taking a team-based approach, Sam offers compassionate, practical strategies anyone can use. These suggestions not only reduce stigma but also remind us that even small, thoughtful actions can make a meaningful difference.

Whether you’re walking alongside a partner, a child, or a friend, this episode gives you the tools and encouragement to show up in ways that truly matter.

Link to Sam's blog post with all 11 suggestions: https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2018/08/24/11-important-ways-my-loved-ones-supported-me-during-a-mental-health-crisis/

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why listening is often more powerful than offering advice
• The importance of asking what someone actually needs instead of assuming
• Simple but powerful acts of practical support (like meals, chores, reminders)
• Learning about your loved one’s condition to show respect and reduce stigma
• The value of thoughtful, tangible reminders of care
• Why a team approach is essential in supporting someone through crisis

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: Why supporting others through depression matters
 01:28 - “Reaching in” vs. “reaching out” during Suicide Prevention Month
 02:41 - Sam Dylan Finch on the need for proactive support
 03:50 - Tip #1: Listen more than you talk
 05:07 - Following their lead instead of trying to “fix”
 05:29 - Tip #2: Ask what they need instead of assuming
 07:03 - Offering small, helpful distractions as support
 08:06 - Practical help: groceries, dishes, and daily needs
 09:33 - Asking about basic wellness (sleep, hydration, meds)
 09:47 - Tip #3: Learn about your loved one’s mental health condition
 10:22 - Respect shown by self-education
 10:57 - Tip #4: Give thoughtful, tangible reminders of care
 11:07 - Tip #5: Take a team approach to supporting mental health
 13:07 - Why the “buddy system” helps both the supporter and the person in crisis
 14:18 - Creating a support list: friends, family, hotlines, professionals
 14:56 - Crisis Text Line and hotline resources
 15:27 - Final reflections: Why listening with an open heart matters most
 16:55 - Closing message: Speak up if you’re hurting, listen up if someone else is

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