Set Boundaries or Have Your Life Hijacked

Each of us tries to erect a boundary around the parts of ourself we want to keep private, or at least shielded from those with whom we’re not intimate. Some people are more vigilant about raising those firewalls than others, however, which can lead to discomfort, if not open conflict, because it’s harder to keep others’ revelations out than it is. In healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise we attune ourselves to others’ boundaries by making gradual “bids of trust.” For example, on a first date you might confess that you’d had a tough day at work because your boss was snippy to you. If the other person doesn’t say anything back, chances are you wouldn’t further extend bids of trust are lessened when there’s no reciprocity. You’re suddenly not safe with this person.