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Emily Nagoski, PhD: Pleasure Is the Measure: How to Have Sex You Enjoy
Oct 8, 2024
Emily Nagoski, a renowned sex educator and bestselling author, dives into the complexities of intimate relationships. She discusses the shift from desire to pleasure, emphasizing that good communication leads to great sex. Nagoski explores the dual control model of sexual response, addressing how stress and body image affect arousal. She highlights the importance of trust and vulnerability in maintaining lasting connections, while advocating for body positivity and self-acceptance. This engaging talk offers practical insights for enhancing sexual well-being and relationship satisfaction.
01:10:34
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Quick takeaways
- Focusing on pleasure rather than desire is crucial for nurturing satisfying sexual relationships and rediscovering attraction over time.
- Managing stress and recognizing external pressures is vital for enhancing sexual enjoyment and creating a conducive environment for intimacy.
Deep dives
Shifting the Focus from Desire to Pleasure
Focusing on pleasure rather than desire is essential for sustaining meaningful sexual relationships. The cultural narrative often emphasizes a 'desire imperative', suggesting that the initial sparks of attraction must be maintained over time. However, research indicates that couples who maintain strong sexual connections prioritize enjoyment and the quality of their experiences over the frequency or intensity of desire. By creating opportunities to indulge in shared pleasures, partners can rediscover their attraction to one another, even amidst the changing dynamics of a long-term relationship.
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