Living with Depression: How Naming It Helped Me Find Strength and Hope

For decades, John thought his pain was weakness. He buried his feelings, convinced that naming them would make him “less of a man.” But when he finally admitted that what he was experiencing had a name—depression—everything began to change.

In this episode, John shares how childhood trauma, low self-esteem, and cultural stigma kept him silent for years. He opens up about the “pit of snakes” thinking that eroded his confidence, the pressure to “shake it off,” and why men so often confuse depression with failure.

With honesty and courage, John describes how naming depression became the first step toward strength, hope, and healing. His story is a reminder that depression is not a character flaw—it’s an illness. And saying its name out loud can be the most powerful act of recovery.

Links to ACEs information & tests:

https://americanspcc.org/take-the-aces-quiz/
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html

Primary Topics Covered:

• The stigma men face in naming and talking about depression
• How John struggled with self-esteem since childhood
• The link between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and adult depression
• The “pit of snakes” metaphor for depression’s negative thinking
• Why men often see depression as weakness, and how John challenged that belief
• How naming depression opened the door to acceptance and hope
• The role of professional help, therapy, and SSRIs
• Why recovery is never linear—and why that’s okay
• How COVID-19 became a turning point in John’s mental health journey
• The importance of Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) for support
• Why compassion for others is often easier than compassion for ourselves

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro and John’s listener message of gratitude  
01:49 – John: feeling alone in depression and finding hope in the podcast  
02:45 – Fighting the idea of depression and fearing stigma  
03:43 – Why men often see depression as weakness  
04:53 – The role of self-stigma and negative self-talk  
05:17 – Concealing feelings through dysfunctional coping strategies  
06:15 – The “pit of snakes” metaphor for depression  
06:23 – Low self-esteem since childhood and its ties to depression  
07:04 – Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and long-term impact  
07:46 – Growing up in an alcoholic, verbally abusive household  
09:13 – Childhood memory: “What’s wrong with you?”  
10:41 – Recognizing depression decades later and naming it  
11:38 – How acceptance opened the door to hope  
12:30 – Recovery is never linear—it’s messy and tangled  
13:00 – What depression taught John about compassion for others  
14:33 – Seeking professional help during divorce and financial struggles  
15:09 – How SSRIs and therapy supported recovery  
16:14 – COVID-19 as a turning point in his mental health journey  
16:50 – Using EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for confidential help  
17:48 – Willingness to do anything to get help at rock bottom  
18:12 – The importance of grabbing lifelines when they’re offered  
19:11 – Reflections on John’s courage in naming depression and sharing openly  
20:06 – Closing: why naming depression helps us accept and heal  

Explore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.com
Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/
Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/