Exploring the concept of living apart together in long-term relationships, a couple discusses the benefits of independence and meeting halfway. They reflect on their 20-year relationship and envision a unique living arrangement inspired by Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. The hosts emphasize the importance of human understanding and involving loved ones in data analysis to soften assumptions.
Living Apart Together (LAT) couples intentionally choose not to live together despite being in committed relationships, challenging societal expectations.
Mike and Susan, a couple who have been together for 20 years, have chosen to live apart and appreciate the absence of power struggles and the excitement of seeing each other after time apart, challenging societal norms and expectations.
Deep dives
Living Apart Together (LAT) Couples and Shifting Relationship Narratives
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss how the traditional narrative of long-term relationships, where couples date, move in together, and then get married, is shifting. They introduce the concept of Living Apart Together (LAT) couples, who intentionally choose not to live together despite being in committed relationships. This trend challenges the societal expectations of relationship progression. The hosts explore the limited data available on LAT couples and highlight the need to understand why people are choosing this lifestyle. They emphasize the importance of considering alternative relationship models and the desire to learn more about LAT couples' experiences.
Mike and Susan: A Long-Term LAT Relationship
The hosts interview Mike and Susan, a couple who have been together for 20 years and have chosen to live apart. They share that their decision to live separately evolved over time and was not an intentional choice from the beginning. While they considered living together at one point, they realized that their independent lifestyles and the freedom of not sharing a living space were more fulfilling to them. They appreciate the absence of power struggles, the ability to maintain individual routines, and the excitement of seeing each other after spending time apart. Mike and Susan discuss how their unconventional relationship challenges societal norms and expectations.
The Future of LAT Relationships and the Need for Visibility
The hosts and guests reflect on the challenges faced by LAT couples, particularly the lack of visibility and recognition in official surveys and data collection. They express a desire for more validation and understanding of LAT relationships. Mike and Susan discuss the potential for living together in the future, mentioning the possibility of an L.A.T. house design that accommodates their unique needs. They express gratitude for the freedom and flexibility their relationship offers and share that friends often express admiration for their arrangement. The hosts conclude by emphasizing the importance of considering personal happiness and fulfillment over conforming to societal expectations.
The binary category of single/married doesn't allow for much nuance. What if, say, you’re in a long term committed relationship like a marriage — but you live apart? In the last episode of this mini series, Saleem talks to a couple who’s been living apart together ("LAT") for years about what motivates them to be in a LAT relationship, and how the arrangement works for them.