How Rituals Keep Us Connected

Oct 31, 2025

Michelle Telléz, an Associate Professor specializing in Mexican-American studies, shares her personal journey with Día de los Muertos following her father's death, emphasizing the balance of grief and joy. Matthew Sandoval, a scholar known as Dr. Muerte, discusses the evolving nature of this ancient ritual and its significance in honoring ancestors. Together, they explore how communal remembrance fosters connection, the impact of commercialization on tradition, and the role of rituals in shaping cultural identity and easing children's understanding of death.

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ADVICE

Intend Connection Over Loss

When you build a ritual, focus on honoring connection and gratitude rather than only loss.
Use simple elements (water, fire, wind, earth) and personal items to invite balance and memory into the space.

ANECDOTE

Learning Ritual After Personal Loss

Michelle Telléz learned Dia de los Muertos after her father's sudden death and used the ritual to stay connected to his memory.
She taught her daughter the practice and built community altars to transform grief into ongoing remembrance.

ADVICE

Build Intentional Ofendas

Set an intention and include it when placing items on your ofrenda to guide the ritual's energy.
Bring photos, the four elements, favorite foods, and meaningful objects to create a balanced altar offering.

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We explore Día de los Muertos as a ritual that nurtures community, imbues loss with meaning, and helps us process grief while also connecting through shared joy.

Summary: We investigate how Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, rituals strengthen family ties and cultural identity, and learn about its evolution from a 3,000 year old practice to a global celebration. We look at key elements like the ofrenda and explore how commercialization—like Mattel’s Day of the Dead Barbie—raises questions about balancing tradition with modern influences.

This episode is made possible through the generous support of the John Templeton Foundation.

How To Do This Practice:

Set an intention: Begin by reflecting on who or what you want to honor, focusing on connection and gratitude rather than loss. Let this intention guide the energy of your ritual.
Create a space of offering: Choose a spot in your home and make it a place of remembrance. Gather meaningful items like photos, flowers, candles, or anything that holds personal or ancestral significance.
Invite the elements: Bring in water, fire, wind, and earth in simple ways—perhaps a candle, a glass of water, a plant, or a piece of fabric that moves gently in the air—to represent balance and harmony.
Add a personal touch: Offer something that carries memory, like a favorite food, scent, or song of someone you love. These gestures transform remembrance into a living connection.
Gather in community: Invite others to join you in building the altar or sharing stories and food. Coming together in this way turns memory into collective celebration and strengthens belonging.
Reflect and release: When the ritual feels complete, take a few quiet moments to notice what you feel. Offer gratitude for the connections that remain and carry their presence forward into daily life.

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Today’s Guests:

MICHELLE TELLÉZ is an Associate Professor in Mexican-American studies at Arizona State University.
Learn more about Michelle: https://tinyurl.com/2ph3can7

MATHEW SANDOVAL, a.ka. "Dr. Muerte," is an artist and Associate Professor at Arizona State University. He is a leading expert on Día de los Muertos.
Learn more about Mathew: mathewsandoval.com

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Healing Effects of Experiencing Wildlife: https://tinyurl.com/bde5av4z

Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w

How Thinking About Your Ancestors Can Help You Thrive: https://tinyurl.com/4u6vzs2w

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Meditation on Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3

A Meditation to Connect With Your Roots: https://tinyurl.com/ycy9xazc

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/jerruy47