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🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you.

Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Distance Dependent, and Emotionally Equipped. You’ll learn how to recognize where you are, why each stage feels the way it does, and how to move forward with more self-trust and less shame.

This is your roadmap out of relationship anxiety and into emotional strength.

🔑 Key Moments:

2:00 – The High Alert stage: spiraling thoughts, hypervigilance, and the toll on your nervous system
10:00 – Breaking out of unhealthy validation habits using the Think-Do-Say framework
17:00 – The Distance Dependent stage: calm on the surface, but still triggered by what you see
23:00 – Using self-focus and small wins to rewire your emotional patterns
28:00 – The Emotionally Equipped stage: meeting your own needs without over-relying on your partner
31:00 – How to bounce back after a setback without shame or spirals

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

Jealousy isn’t just emotional—it becomes physical stress if left unchecked
The Think-Do-Say model helps break compulsive habits by replacing them with conscious choices
You can stop checking the phone without stopping all the habits—just start with one
Self-validation is the gateway to emotional safety
You don’t need your partner to fix your jealousy—you need tools to manage your emotional responses

❤️ Perfect for listeners who:

Feel overwhelmed by jealousy or insecure thoughts in their relationship
Are trying to stop spiraling and start self-soothing
Want practical, non-judgmental tools for emotional growth
Are ready to take their healing seriously but with compassion
Crave deeper connection—without losing themselves

✍️ Leave a review and let us know—what stage do you see yourself in right now? And what’s one habit you’re working to change?

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.

Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy

Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Matt Holt, creator of Caddy