What Now? with Trevor Noah You’re Not a Bad Parent, You’re Overwhelmed with Dr. Becky
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Dec 4, 2025 
In this enlightening conversation, Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, unpacks the complexity of parenting in a challenging world. She reveals how children’s tantrums often stem from overwhelmed nervous systems rather than malice. Dr. Becky shares practical strategies, such as using 90-second scripts for validation after meltdowns and modeling healthy behaviors to shape children's identities. She emphasizes the importance of repair in building secure attachments and encourages parents to adopt a generous, coaching mindset.
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Parenting As Mutual Growth
- Parenting is an opportunity for adults to grow by confronting unresolved childhood issues.
- Becky Kennedy says improving your relationship with your child can heal parts of yourself while raising better humans.
Name The Struggle, Not The Child
- Say to your child, "You're a good kid having a hard time" to separate identity from behavior.
- Use curiosity to understand triggers and then teach the missing skills rather than punish permanently.
Use Short Debriefs And Prep
- Spend 90–120 seconds the next day telling a short story about a similar struggle to reduce shame.
- Prep your child by removing surprise: say, "I wonder what it's going to be like at Target today."
