Today, I’m excited to share my conversation with Ali Miller on how nonviolent communication (NVC) can help navigate co-parenting dynamics and couple relationships. When raising a neurodivergent child, there are often many opportunities for parents to disagree—whether it’s about the therapies to explore, whether or not to disclose a diagnosis to family members, or even if a diagnosis exists at all. These discussions can be tough and can definitely place a strain on the relationship. But with nonviolent communication, we can learn how to have conversations that feel like a win-win for everyone involved.

Ali Miller is an expert in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and has been a marriage and family therapist for over twenty years. In 2021, she became certified as a Clini-Coach® specializing in couples communication. As an online coach, she helps couples worldwide improve their communication and conflict resolution skills, allowing them to experience more peace, passion, and possibilities in their relationships.

In this conversation, Ali and I discussed what NVC is and why it’s a comprehensive model that supports all kinds of relationships. We explored how understanding our feelings—and more importantly, the underlying needs behind them—is crucial for effective communication. Ali also emphasized the importance of empathy and self-empathy in the NVC model, and shared how to express our needs to our partners without blame or judgment (while also acknowledging that this doesn’t absolve our partner of responsibility).

This conversation truly highlights how NVC can transform conflict into connection by fostering empathy and understanding between partners. I hope you enjoy it!

About Ali Miller

Ali Miller, an expert in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), has been a Marriage & Family Therapist for over twenty years. In 2021 she became certified as a Clini-Coach® specializing in Couples Communication. As an online coach, she helps couples all over the world level up their communication + conflict navigation skills so they can experience more peace, passion, and possibilities in their relationship.

Things you'll learn from this episode

What nonviolent communication (NVC) is and why it’s a comprehensive model that can support any and all relationships
How understanding feelings, and more importantly, our underlying needs, is crucial for effective communication
The importance of empathy and self-empathy in the NVC model
Why recognizing universal human needs can bridge gaps in understanding and foster true compassion and understanding
How to express our needs to our partner without blame or judgment (and why it doesn’t mean our partner bears no responsibility)

Resources mentioned

Ali Miller’s website
Ali on Instagram
Ali’s Private Facebook Group
The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In (free mini-course)
Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets
Ali’s Podcast: Love Each Other Better
8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples — Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs)
Marshall Rosenberg and the Center for Nonviolent Communication
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall Rosenberg
Zach Morris on Nonviolent Communication and Whole Person Learning (Tilt Parenting podcast)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Andrew Brandel, "Moving Words: Literature, Memory, and Migration in Berlin" (U Toronto Press, 2023)