The Pineapple Express: A Millennial’s Guide to Love, Sex Positivity, Non-Monogamy, Polyamory & Swinging 110: 'Tolyamory' and The Dangers Of Practicing Non Monogamy To Keep Your Partner
Let’s talk about the thing no one wants to admit: sometimes we say yes to non-monogamy not because we want to—but because we’re afraid to lose someone we love. In this episode, we dive deep into the term “tolyamory” (coined by Dan Savage), the danger of choosing open relationships out of fear instead of desire, and how to tell if you’re actually aligned with non-monogamy… or just tolerating it.
We’ll unpack:
- The red flags of “tolyamory”
- Why consent isn’t just a checkbox—it’s a felt sense
- How to check in with your nervous system before saying yes
- What to do if your partner wants non-monogamy and you don’t
- How to reclaim your voice, your boundaries, and your truth—even when it’s hard
Whether you’re the one asking or being asked to open up, this episode is for you. Let’s stop calling it love when it’s really fear. 💔➡️💖
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