This session features a couple grappling with the shadows of infidelity in their small-town life. The male participant shares his struggles with self-esteem and honesty rooted in childhood trauma. His partner sheds light on her own family history, merging their narratives into a complex tapestry of love and betrayal. Together, they navigate the rocky terrain of trust, vulnerability, and expectations shaped by their pasts. Esther Perel's guidance fosters a deeper understanding of their emotional journeys, illuminating the path toward healing.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Small Town Affair
The man had an affair and ended two marriages.
He and his new partner, who also left her marriage, now struggle with trust.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Grandfather's Influence
The man's grandfather was a charming philanderer and alcoholic.
He admired his grandfather, seeing him as a strong, rugged figure.
insights INSIGHT
Fear of Vulnerability
The man feels a tension between wanting to be known and fearing rejection.
He believes being a 'good man' conflicts with being a 'real man'.
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In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
Mating in Captivity
Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel
In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel 
