Love Factually Deep Dive: The Compatibility Puzzle
Dec 8, 2025
In this insightful discussion, Paul Eastwick, a psychologist and author specializing in romantic compatibility, shares his research experiences, including using speed dating as a study method. He reveals intriguing findings about why online dating often misses the mark on compatibility. Paul argues that true connection develops through meaningful interactions, rather than superficial profiles. He emphasizes that a relationship thrives on shared experiences and suggests using intimate questions to deepen connections. Insightful and engaging, this conversation sheds light on the complexities of love.
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Speed-Dating Field Trip With 36 Questions
- Paul Eastwick recounts taking a graduate class on initial attraction and organizing speed-dating as a field trip.
- He used the 36 questions (fast friends) on dates to test whether brief intimate conversation sparks attraction.
Compatibility Is The Key Driver Of Attraction
- Compatibility is the dominant source of romantic attraction beyond general selectivity and popularity.
- The social relations model isolates the unique 'eye of the beholder' component as the core of compatibility.
Similarity Doesn’t Explain Compatibility
- Common theories like similarity, mate-value matching, or love languages failed to explain compatibility in their data.
- Repeated tests showed similarity rarely predicted who would hit it off.
