Tia Levings, a former trad wife, shares her deeply personal insights on escaping the constraints of traditional domestic life. She critiques the allure of the trad wife lifestyle, revealing the exhaustion and systemic barriers women face. Tia dives into her journey within a strict evangelical upbringing, shedding light on the trauma and challenges of fundamentalism. The discussion tackles the disparity between curated social media depictions and the harsh realities of traditional living, emphasizing the importance of agency and self-expression.
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insights INSIGHT
Fundamentalism's Appeal
Fundamentalism offers comfort and simple solutions during times of chaos, appealing to those seeking stability.
It promises a better life through strict adherence to a formula, often with an appealing aesthetic like homesteading.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Tia Levings' Background
Tia Levings grew up in a Southern Baptist megachurch and married young under fundamentalist principles.
She experienced abuse and high control, eventually escaping after a near-death experience.
insights INSIGHT
The Agenda Behind Tradwife Practices
While seemingly innocent, tradwife practices can mask a larger agenda of dominionism and control.
It is crucial to distinguish between genuine enjoyment of traditional practices and their use as tools for a wider agenda.
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Trad Wife Discourse is everywhere. It’s been everywhere for a while, in part because it offers a twisted fantasy of ease to women who are attempting to negotiate life, and family, and career in a society whose policy is actively hostile to women working outside the home. But I’ve seen a spike in interest in the ramp-up to the 2024 U.S. presidential election, where a Trump victory — paired with the explicit goals of Project 2025, J.D. Vance, and Christian Nationalism in general — will make trad wife life just, well, life. It doesn’t happen overnight. It happens incrementally, as choices are very slowly taken from you, or made more attractive. To get to what lures women into this life, and just how difficult it is to escape, I wanted to talk to someone who gets it in a way that those lurking in the Instagram comments simply cannot. So today we’re talking with Tia Levings, who left her trad wife life and, through a bunch of therapy and processing and support, figured out how she wanted to tell her story.
Content Warning: In our conversation, we talk explicitly about emotional and physical abuse and coercion. If you’re not in a place where you want to listen to that discussion, I’d suggest skipping this episode.
Show Notes:
Tia Leving’s book, A Well-Trained Wife, is an absolute must-read. As Melody put it: I’m not even a memoir person and I devoured it. You can find it here.
You can find more about Tia, her work, and how to book her for interviews here.
Tia is also in the Amazon Prime documentary Shiny Happy People, about the Duggars, Bill Gothard, and the Institute for Basic Life Principles. Here’s the trailer:
We’re currently looking for your questions for future episodes about:
Why is Paul Mescal so hot
Sydney Sweeney (and Gen-Z Stardom)
Learning to craft / make things / hobby-around-the-house
For our continuing series on romance novels: QUEER ROMANCE
Artificial Intelligence (we’re gonna see if we can figure out an actually interesting theme here, so send us your weirdest or most mind-boggling questions)
The economy, a.k.a. why is everything so damn expensive right now (my dream here is like an Odd Lots guest who doesn’t have private equity brain, please let us know if you have suggestions!)
Contemporary ideas of self-care
Buy Nothing groups and/or the current state of the secondhand market
Anything you need advice or want musings on for the AAA segment
You can submit them (and ideas for future eps) here
For today’s discussion: How has hearing from someone who used to be on the inside changed or textured your thinking about trad wives?