729: Sexsomnia Guilt-Free After PTSD? | Feedback Friday
Sep 23, 2022
The hosts tackle the emotional turmoil of dealing with a partner's sexsomnia, exploring its impact on consent and personal trauma. A listener grapples with guilt after intimate moments triggered by her partner's sleep disorder. They delve into the importance of communication in relationships and the need for professional help in navigating complex feelings. Additionally, the conversation shifts to ethical dilemmas, highlighting the nuances of honesty and trust in both personal and financial realms. Humor and insights keep the discussion engaging.
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Sexsomnia and PTSD
A woman's sexsomniac partner triggers her PTSD from past abuse.
She feels guilty for having sex with him while he's unconscious, despite his consent.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Open Communication about Sexsomnia
Discuss sexsomnia openly with your partner while both are awake and sober.
Establish clear rules and expectations for these episodes together.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Process Guilt and Shame
Process feelings of guilt and shame around sexsomnia with a therapist.
Explore the roots of your feelings instead of suppressing or rationalizing them.
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As you have a higher libido than your partner, it seems as though it should feel like a blessingwhen he makes sexual advances on you in the middle of the night when his sexsomnia ("a rare sleep disorder in which a person engages in sexual activity during their sleep") takes over. But this is problematic for two reasons: A) It briefly triggers your PTSD from being sexually assaulted in your sleep years ago, and B) When your PTSD subsides, you feel guilty for engaging in sex with a partner who can't give consent in the moment (though he has told you on multiple occasions after the fact that he's fine with it). How can you handle this in a healthy way? We'll try to find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
Waking to your sexsomniac partner's nocturnal advances triggers PTSD from earlier abuse, and makes you feel guilty for engaging in sex with someone who can't consent in the moment. What's the healthiest way to deal with this?
Is it worth initiating a conversation about how post-Roe reproductive rights fit in with company policy when interviewing for a job in a state that has regressive anti-choice laws on the books?
After numerous relapses in your struggle with addiction, you feel like your latest effort to rehabilitate may finally be sticking. But how can you convince your ex that you're ready to take on the responsibility of raising your kids together?
Is there a special IRS gifting loophole that allows participants of a pyramid scheme to sign a waiver so they won't be legally liable when things inevitably go south? And if so, why would you consider signing such a thing?
Are you morally obligated to tell someone their mother once slept with their fiancé? And if you do spill the beans, how do you do it without revealing yourself as the source?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
The Jordan Harbinger Show