Alonement Ruby Warrington: My Marriage Wouldn't Work With Children
My guest this week is Women Without Kids author, Ruby Warrington. We're are at a fascinating time in history – where, both in the UK, US, and across almost every developed nation like Switzerland, Italy, Japan and South Korea, adults are having children later in life – or, indeed, not at all. While statistics vary, it is a recognised trend – and that trend is relevant to all of us whether we have children now or in the future, or don’t. Author Ruby Warrington, for this week’s episode, has tackled that subject in her latest book, Women Without Kids – a timely non-fiction investigation into what it means to be, as it says on the tin, a woman without children today, with the help of expert insights from philosophers, anthropologists, social scientists and other writers. This is naturally a topic that lends itself an alonement slant, too – we all know that parenthood isn’t exactly famed for its abundant alone time, but what about a life, and heterosexual relationship, that takes place without it? Ruby, who is now in her mid-forties and has been with her husband Simon for over 20 years, shares the answers to that question, and many more – offering so many insightful perspectives into being childfree by choice.
We discuss, among other things:
- Why alone, for Ruby, means ‘sovereignty’ [3:57]
- The value of having strong connections in your life as insurance against loneliness [8:30]
- The link between Ruby’s introversion and her choice to be childfree [11:54]
- Why alone time is important in Ruby’s marriage [15:04]
- How Ruby envied her father’s lifestyle growing up [21:39]
- Ruby’s experience of abortion [29:32]
- When Ruby questioned whether she did want kids [35:09]
- Chosen families and ‘other mothers’ [39:18]
- What Ruby gained through the process of writing her latest book
- Ruby’s favourite kind of alone time [47:47]
You can purchase Women Without Kids from all good bookshops, and online.
Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023.
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