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In this week’s episode of Spinsterhood Reimagined, I talk to writer, blogger and author, Aimée Lutkin.

Aimée is a writer and editor from NYC. Her work has appeared in Jezebel, W Mag, Elle, Glamour, and more. The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search For Love Is Broken is her first book.

In this conversation, Aimée and I talk about a multitude of topics including: the dinner party in NYC when she was 32 years old which prompted her to write an article, and subsequently a book; how the friends at said dinner party reacted with resistance to her admission that she thought she might be alone forever; and how our cultural expectations of the future have changed, including what we believe we can expect from relationships.

Aimée also tells me about the transformation she felt with respect to her single status whilst writing her book, and how it resulted in her working on herself to achieve a feeling of direction and purpose in her life outside of a relationship; how the pandemic has caused many people to rethink their lives and relationships; how singlehood and loneliness are often conflated despite the former not necessarily resulting in the latter; and how many more women are starting to speak more openly about what they require from a relationship, including what they will no longer tolerate.

We chat about how expectations of a romantic partner have changed dramatically in as much as marriage used to be more of an economic decision, whereas now a partner is supposed to be your everything - lover, best friend, co-parent etc; how Aimée believes that marriage has been re-branded as a validation for who you are as a person vs the more practical choice that it used to be; and how she thinks non-monogamy, open relationships and polyamory are on the rise.

Finally, Aimée tells me her thoughts on the word ‘spinster’, and how single women are starting to use the word differently; how she would like to live in a world where being single is irrelevant and where we don’t depend on a romantic relationship in order to feel safe; how her book, The Lonely Hunter, started as an essay called ‘When Can I Say I’ll Be Alone Forever’; and how you can do everything right in terms of looking for love, but it still doesn’t necessarily work out.

Follow Aimée on Twitter: @alutkin

Follow Aimée on Instagram: @aalutkin

Aimée’s Website: http://www.aimeelutkin.com/

US Link to Aimée’s Book, The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search For Love Is Broken: https://www.amazon.com/Lonely-Hunter-Search-Broken-Memoir/dp/1984855883/ref=sr_1_1?crid=TXGGQTVLFRQC&keywords=the+l

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