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The Later Dater Today
#11 Do I Want To Deal With This? How to Listen to Someone Else's Less-Than-Perfect Past
Jul 28, 2023
Learn how to skillfully listen and respond to someone's less-than-perfect past in dating. Discover tips on asking thoughtful questions, cultivating empathy, and reframing baggage as valuable life experience.
09:19
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Quick takeaways
- Listen to your partner's vulnerabilities and challenges, offering alternative perspectives to understand the skills they have cultivated.
- Focus on understanding the person beneath the baggage, reframing it as life experience to develop a deeper connection.
Deep dives
Listening with Empathy and Offering Perspective
When dating later in life, it's important to listen to your partner's vulnerabilities and challenges without trying to fix or solve them. Instead, you can offer an alternative perspective by asking questions that help you understand the skills or abilities they have cultivated as a result of their challenges. For example, if someone has a strained relationship with their child, asking about how they have tried to learn more about their child's interests can reveal their efforts to connect. By offering new insights, you create a chance for them to see their challenges in a different light.
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