In this week's podcast we try to unravel the logic behind a European election debate that featured two men who weren't in the running but not the leader of the winning party, the blunder that led to hundreds of children being sent to the wrong secondary school, and the end-of-season football relegation play-offs. Duncan Laurence's Eurovision victory inspires an archetypal Dutch discussion about splitting the bill, Erik Wiebes triggers rumblings of discontent in Groningen and another VVD minister, Mark Harbers, resigns in a row over statistics. We also discuss justice minister Ferd Grapperhaus's plan to bring the laws on sexual assault up to date.