The Unspeakeasy With Meghan Daum The Making of A Gender Heretic, with Ben Appel
Nov 10, 2025
Ben Appel, a provocative writer and commentator, dives deep into his memoir, exploring the complex relationships within identity politics after his escape from a strict Christian upbringing. He shares insights on the moral policing within queer spaces, questioning the rise of representation over excellence. Ben discusses the consequences of dissent in activist circles, including lost friendships and social blacklisting. He advocates for embracing gender-nonconforming kids without pushing medical interventions, challenging the narrative surrounding gender issues today.
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Scrupulosity As Moral OCD
- Scrupulosity is a form of OCD focused on morality, producing ritualized behaviors to regain control.
- Ben links this need for control to lifelong patterns of anxiety that later re-emerge in political and ideological contexts.
Raised In A Tight Covenant Community
- Ben Appel describes growing up in the Lamb of God covenant community with charismatic practices and tight social control.
- He recounts leaders called coordinators and handmaids enforcing a strict moral order that shaped his early scrupulosity.
A Failed Healing That Fueled Guilt
- Ben recalls laying hands on a dying man during a faith-healing ritual and feeling partial responsibility when the man died.
- The episode reinforced his compulsion to pray harder and intensified existential anxiety about moral failure.
