215: How to Work Around a Debilitating Boss

Today’s topic is How to Work Around a Debilitating Boss. Notice that I didn’t call it a Toxic Boss.

I believe we are using the term “toxic” far too frequently these days. If we are to believe everyone who says their workplace or boss is toxic, the American workplace would be in shambles. (Some would argue that it is in shambles.)

I also think many people are using the term “toxic” as a way to absolve themselves of any responsibility for creating, or fostering, the difficult situation.

Here’s the definition of Debilitating: “Causing serious impairment of strength or ability to function.” In essence, the word indicates a temporary impairment or a condition of weakness and helplessness.

Dictionary.com defines toxic as “Causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious.”

Here’s what I take away from these two definitions: Toxic is often malicious in nature, which indicates the boss is doing things on purpose. The results are often harmful.

Debilitating, on the other hand, means your boss is somehow impairing your ability to do your job. You are in a weak and helpless position.

Clearly, there’s a fair amount of overlap between what we might call toxic and debilitating. Rather than focus on whether your boss’s behavior is toxic or debilitating, let’s instead focus on bad boss behavior and what to do about it.

One thing I learned from my years in the workforce, both as an employee and as the boss: Most bosses aren’t intentionally terrible at their job. In many cases, they haven’t been trained for their role as a boss. In other cases, they were outstanding at whatever they did before, so were promoted to a role they are ill-fitted for, and possibly not interested in doing.

I’m sure you are aware of the benefits of being on a cohesive, engaged team that enjoys coming to work every day and can operate at maximum efficiency. Among those benefits:

-Reduced stress

-Reduced chance of illness

-Increased work satisfaction

-Improved work relationships

-Increased productivity

-Improved potential to advance at work

What are some signs you have a bad boss?

-Instructions are given as orders, rather than a conversation among professionals

-Your boss constantly offers to show you the door if you don’t like her decisions

-Your boss won’t listen to fresh, new ideas because “this is how it’s always been done”

-Your boss tells you that you are lucky to have a job

-Your boss, either overtly or covertly, discourages you from having a life outside of work

-Your boss creates an atmosphere of fear…employees are afraid to innovate or be creative

-Your boss issues assignments, reorganizes workload or makes decisions without explaining the thought process or reasons

-The boss keeps team members out of the loop – you don’t have the information you need to do your job effectively

-The boss gossips about employees with other employees

-The boss makes what should be private conversations or information public

-The boss “punishes” employees by taking juicy assignments away and replacing them with assignments no one else wants, or gives “busywork”

What strategies can you use to work around a debilitating boss?

-Determine your boss’s motivations

-Identify your boss’s triggers so you can avoid them

-Don’t gossip with other employees about your boss

-Anticipate your boss’s requests so you can stay one step ahead

-Focus on your boss’s good qualities

-Stop assuming your boss knows – or should know – everything

-When your boss gives you an assignment, repeat back what you heard to ensure clarity

-Focus on what you can do, rather than what is out of your control

-Understand why you’re so upset

-Set boundaries with your boss

-Set up time to have a frank conversation with your boss – plan what you are going to say and practice with a trusted friend or colleague

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