My deepest devotion, throughout my life has been to the discovery and embodiment of our truest nature. I studied organized and mystical religions, I traveled to many countries in our world, getting a taste of different cultures and people, I lived a conventional suburban life as a wife and mother, I lived in chronic confusion, and I studied psychology, all with the gnawing question of ‘what is all this really about?’ tugging at my sleeve.
I was born in Brooklyn New York, into a world where appearances were everything, but I tended an inner world that I kept to myself. When I look back on how I was “companioned” throughout my childhood by my inner world that was full of comfort and promise I marvel at the wisdom and strength of this stream of consciousness.
After raising my two sons, I went to graduate school to study psychology and find professional legitimacy, and to focus on my interior. I had, for a long time, known I needed to heal from childhood trauma and I also felt a calling to help others. But, like so many of us, I had looked to the external world for this elusive happiness and healing I felt was missing.
After completing my degree, I built a satisfyingly delicious career – with the same gnawing question in my heart – how do I reconcile pain and confusion with a life-long intuited knowing of a greater consciousness or awareness? In addition to a private practice of psychotherapy, I taught at California Institute of Integral Studies and the University of California at San Francisco. I was the therapist for a pilot study at Stanford and led workshops and presentations for cultivating resilience. (My first book is The Woman’s Book of Resilience – twelve qualities to cultivate).
I began to follow and study spiritual teachers: Adyashanti, David Hawkins, Mooji and Jan Frazier. After decades of devoted searching, I was guided by Jan Frazier and experienced a profound shift in consciousness at the age of 70. (Poster child for it never being too late) This realization allowed the inner and the outer world to melt into each other. After decades of healing and opening to larger and larger states of consciousness, the search ended. This shift set my course, in a humbling and wondrous way, to deeper and further understanding, to embodying and, most importantly, living what had been revealed.
In the sweet presence of now, I am along for the ride of intimate contact with whatever life has in store from moment to moment and day to day. In my bones, I understand what it means to be intimate with 10,000 things.
Website: bethmillerphd.com
Book: Waking Up on the Couch
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.
Summary and transcript of this interview.
Interview recorded June 29, 2019
YouTube Video Chapters:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
00:05:24 - Childhood in the Atmosphere of War and Powerlessness
00:11:17 - The Dream of Unbounded Presence
00:15:05 - Dreams as Messages from God
00:19:25 - The First and Biggest Disillusionment
00:24:15 - The Metaphor of the Movie
00:27:47 - Becoming Radically Honest with Ourselves
00:33:40 - The Play of God
00:38:29 - The Wisdom in Life's Buffeting
00:42:11 - The Transformative Power of Psychotherapy
00:47:18 - Becoming a Better Human Being
00:51:59 - A Familiar Presence
00:56:52 - The Contagiousness of Intimacy and Awakening
01:00:06 - Losing Sense of Boundaries
01:04:29 - The Love That Showed Up
01:08:53 - The Shift on the Last Day of the Retreat
01:11:59 - The Value of Presence in Integration
01:15:29 - Awakening and the Body
01:19:36 - The Power of Pure Consciousness
01:23:16 - Trusting Life and Comprehending Something
01:26:59 - Being Grounded in Being
01:31:28 - The Importance of Facing and Feeling Human Pain
01:35:20 - Becoming Transparent and Clear with Ourselves
01:40:16 - A Shift in Perspective
01:43:51 - A Deepening Sense of Being Gone
01:47:50 - The Depth of Being in Direct Contact
01:52:10 - Understanding Awareness and Self-Referral
01:56:17 - The Realization and the Pinch Me Moment
01:59:42 - The Hope for Societal Shift
02:02:05 - The Pleasure of Interviewing
02:04:07 - Conclusion and Next Interview Announcement