The Jedburgh Podcast #007: Modern Manhood - Cleo Stiller
For centuries society has clung to the classic archetype of men as protectors, providers, hunters, and gatherers absent of emotion and unable to form meaningful relationships. This perception has impacted the interaction and communication not only between men and women but also between men themselves. In today’s world of rising gender equality, many men have lost the ability to understand what it means to be both a “good man,” and a “good human.”
In this episode, Author & Journalist Cleo Stiller joins Fran Racioppi to discuss her new book, Modern Manhood: Conversations About The Complicated World of Being a Good Man Today, and share her thoughts on the artificially constructed “Man Box” in which too many men are caught. She explains how her work in journalism, culture, and anthropology has explored the less discussed topics of sex, relationships, money, and workplaces. Most importantly, Cleo discusses how the #MeToo Movement can help men become comfortable having uncomfortable conversations through an introspective look at their past behaviors and a willingness to do better in the future.
Read the full episode transcription here and learn more on The Jedburgh Podcast Website.
Highlights:
-The importance of, and how to, get comfortable having uncomfortable conversations about gender equality, race, sex, relationships, money, self-help, health.
-Cleo’s rise through the journalism ranks at Bloomberg. How she pitched and started her show “Sex.Right.Now” on Univision; ultimately being nominated for a Peabody Award for Public Service Journalism.
-Deep dive into the book’s 8 core topics: Dating, Sex, Work, Money, Parenting, Friends, Self/Health/Porn, and Media.
-Fran comes to grips with his past poor behaviors and commits to being better.
-The need for introspection without stigma, blame or judgment to accept that at times in our lives we have not acted appropriately, but we can accept that and move forward.
-Fran and Cleo break down societal notions that men and women must act in certain ways towards each other; a concept that prevents them from building meaningful relationships.
-The danger of “locker-room talk” in male-male relationships.
-The concept of “call up your friend...not call out your friend” for poor behavior.
-Fran forces Cleo to challenge common stereotypes about women in a rapid-fire opinion game.
Quotes:
-”I did not want to miss the opportunity for us to come together and look at our past, future, and not uplevel our behavior.”
-”Even if you are a good, modern man, you are going to mess up.”
-”I always say no stigma, no judgement. I trust the viewer to interpret this. Just tell them what’s going on.”
-”What are the new rules? What can I do?”
-”They certainly care that they don’t get dinged for something they did in their past.”
-”The amount of money they made had such an impact on their feeling of worth as men.”
-”Introspection and communication can change your relationship in meaningful ways.”
-”Am I not allowed to talk about the bodies of the people I have been with?”
-”When your friend says something shitty, what they are trying to do is bond with you.”
-”Everything right now is very awkward and very uncomfortable.”
Cleo’s Three Daily Foundations of Success:
-Journal
-Have coffee
-Exercise