The Better Behavior Show with Dr. Nicole Beurkens Episode 192 Q&A: What To Do When Extended Family Members Disagree With Your Parenting
This week’s question is from Janetta,
“I have two kids, one has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. He struggles with regulating his behavior and can be quite difficult to manage at times. My partner and I have been learning a lot from you and others about how to understand what's going on with him and to support him better, but I feel like other people in our life just don't get it. For example, my in-laws refuse to acknowledge that our child has challenges. They don't believe in the diagnosis or any of the treatment or supports we have been pursuing. They almost seem ashamed of it. They blame our parenting and continue doing and saying things that aren't helpful, even though those things are not working well. Do you have any advice on how we can address this? I want to have them in our kids' lives, but it's just so stressful for all of us.”
In this episode, I will address when extended family members, especially your own parents, seem unwilling to accept your child's challenges, differences, or needs. These different opinions in parenting among extended family can be extremely stressful, but let’s first understand the potential underlying reasons for their lack of acknowledgment or support. That understanding then gives you a framework for considering how to communicate and navigate through the differences of opinion and any uncomfortable family dynamics.
You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Episode Takeaways:
Not a 1-Size-Fits-All Approach to Parenting through Challenges … 00:02:55
Understanding Your Family's Lack of Acceptance … 00:05:07
Recognizing the Source of Their Underlying Discomfort … 00:07:21
Having Empathy for Them is Helpful for You … 00:13:30
Tangible Strategies Starting with Education … 00:17:10
Clear, Open, and Honest Communication … 00:19:58
When to Give Explanations and What to Include … 00:24:10
Be Patient, You Don’t Need Them to Agree with You … 00:25:10
Who Needs to Take the Lead in Addressing Among Family … 00:28:12 Connect with Dr. Nicole: