10% Happier

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

12 snips
Jan 9, 2026
Melissa Febos, a bestselling memoirist and professor, dives into the art of rewriting personal narratives. She discusses how the stories we tell ourselves shape our suffering and perpetuate old patterns. Febos shares practical methods for change, including daily inventories and a five-step process to revise life stories. She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, community support, and the power of vulnerability. Her journey of recovery from addictions and transforming relationships offers listeners a roadmap for personal growth.
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INSIGHT

Stories Shape Suffering And Change

  • The stories we tell ourselves are major sources of suffering and can be revised.
  • Melissa Febos argues revising those narratives lets you change behavior and identity.
ANECDOTE

Addiction Shaped Her Reflection Habits

  • Melissa Febos identifies as an addict and avoided slow self-reflection for years.
  • She had to build reflective practices into life to survive and change.
INSIGHT

Narratives Omit And Narrow Possibility

  • Psyche constructs narratives to make sense of repeating patterns but omits uncomfortable truths.
  • Clinging to those narratives closes off alternative behaviors and identities.
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