Seeing Death Clearly Pleasure, Power, and the Silence Around Death with Elizabeth Wood
Elizabeth Wood, a sociologist who studied gender and sexuality, found her focus shifting when her mother was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2009 and later terminal cancer in 2012. Watching her mother’s final months opened her eyes to the ways our healthcare system avoids death and how families often do the same. This deeply personal experience led Elizabeth to explore death work from a more practical and emotional place, beyond academic research.
Her mother’s story was unique. After a life of unfulfilling relationships, she discovered her identity as a sexual dominant in her late 50s. Those years, especially during peritoneal dialysis, were surprisingly freeing and fulfilling for her. She even began writing about her experience for an online sex magazine, opening a window into the joy she found in reclaiming her sexuality.
Though mother and daughter always spoke openly about sex, they struggled to talk about death. Elizabeth’s mom often received mixed messages from her medical team, with some doctors avoiding end-of-life discussions and others trying to prepare her. Even as her health declined, she never verbally acknowledged that she was dying, though Elizabeth later found journal entries that hinted at her quiet attempts to say goodbye.
The experience revealed how little space there is in medicine to talk about both death and sexuality. Despite being open in many parts of her life, her mother feared judgment and avoided sharing her identity with healthcare providers. Elizabeth believes this silence, rooted in stigma and power dynamics, leads people to miss out on important support and care.
Bound: A Daughter, a Domme, and an End-of-Life Story - https://www.amazon.com/Bound-Daughter-Domme-End-Life/dp/1631526308
Between Us: Healing Ourselves and Changing the World Through Sociology - https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/B/bo215858659.html
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