Relationship Alive! 02: Diana Richardson - Discover the Power of Slow Sex
Welcome to Episode 2! Here is today’s question: How’s your SEX LIFE? Is it giving you the kind of connection with your partner that you want? My guest today is Diana Richardson, a leading sex educator with over 20 years’ experience in teaching about “slow sex.” She has authored several books on the subject of Tantra and how to develop deep intimacy with your partner, and she teaches numerous workshops in Switzerland with her partner, Michael.
Her teaching is completely transformative and focuses on how to radically shift your thinking about sex and sensuality. You WILL learn something new from Diana! Join us!
Diana discusses the following topics:
- Tantric sex is about awareness, connection, and containing and sustaining sexual energy. It’s about being in awareness during sex, instead of “striving to reach the end moment.”
- Conventional sex typically doesn’t give women the time they need to “be ready.” Ultimately this creates sexual problems in a relationship - the BODY will actually lose interest and close down. However, in slow sex, you work with what naturally allows a woman's body to be open to sex.
- Conventional sex disregards the natural polarity (positive pole/receptive pole) of the male and female bodies. Do you know where the energy center is for your partner? It might not be what you think.
- For a woman, her positive sexual pole is actually in the breasts - not the clitoris! Focus attention there to help a woman open to the flow of sexual energy. As a woman, can you experience your breasts from within? This isn't about "stimulating" the breasts - it's more about melting into them, sending warmth through them. This is something you can do at any time of the day!
- Conventional sex overrides the potential for sexual energy transmission between male and female. (Hint: the “electric current” metaphor will help make this clearer.) You want to be in the flow - not building up tension only to discharge it.
- Conventional sex is full of tension and pressure—and sometimes even trauma--for both males and females. Try not to focus on EXCITEMENT - which actually creates tension in the body. Instead, focus on relaxing into the moment with each other.
- How do you actually FEEL after you have sex with your partner? As you switch to the slow sex approach, notice how that changes...how does it feel to have had an orgasm - vs. how does it feel if you shift to non-orgasmic sex, instead focusing on the sensations that you experience with your partner.
- When you have non-orgasmic sex, what kind of energy do you carry within you during your day? How does it affect the way you feel towards your partner during the time after?
- Is sex a source of conflict for you with your partner, in terms of levels of desire, or timing of sex?
- Make a date (or an appointment) to make love with your partner. And take the TIME that you need to truly connect with each other.
- Tantric sex teaches you to have understanding, feeling, communication, and being “present” in the moment with your partner.
- Fall back into yourself - your body, your awareness, your breathing, your sensation - and that opens you up to something happening between the bodies.
- Learn how to transform your sexual practice into a journey that's not about having orgasms - that's actually about diving more and more deeply into the feeling that you have with each other. Feel what is present within you during sex.
- Sex should more than a mechanical process, but should be deeply healing and cleansing. If you slow down and focus on awareness, you will sensitize yourself to the more subtle flow of what's happening between you and your partner. The more mechanical your sex, the more you're desensitizing yourself to that dynamic flow.
- Tantric sex can revitalize a tired and boring relationship. It’s constantly generative and expansive as it deepens and changes. You are pulling yourself off of the continuum of tension - and discharge - and instead putting yourself onto a continuum that allows you to create deeper connectedness with your partner.
- Even more amazing tidbits in this episode - please listen to experience the magic that is the teaching of Diana Richardson!
Are you intrigued and wanting to explore further? The good news is that there will be a Part 2 to this interview, so you can look forward to even MORE information from Diana.
Links and Resources:
www.livinglove.com (Diana’s website)
Tantric Sex for Men: Making Love a Meditation - by Diana and Michael Richardson
The Heart of Tantric Sex - by Diana Richardson
Text PASSION to 33444 to download the pdf version of this episode guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this episode's airing, you are automatically qualified for a chance to win a signed copy of "Tantric Sex for Men" from Diana Richardson.
Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook
www.neilsattin.com/tantra (My website has links to Diana and her work.)
Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: