Jordan Firstman on Hooking Up with Ugly Guys, Dark Room Experiences, and Debut Album 'Secrets'

May 28, 2025

Jordan Firstman, a TV writer turned Instagram sensation and musician, dives into his journey from viral impressions to his debut album 'Secrets.' He shares hilarious tales of hooking up at Berlin's famed nightclub Berghain and discusses his unique album born from audience confessions. Firstman openly navigates his sexual awakening, complex relationships, and the wild secrets people share. The conversation brims with humor as he critiques internet fame and reflects on authenticity in art, making for an entertaining and insightful listen.

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ANECDOTE

Jordan's Dark Room Experience

Jordan Firstman shares his first dark room experience at Berghain, describing it as sensory deprivation with anonymous sex.
He admits to being robbed multiple times in darker dark rooms like those in Mexico City but still returns for the experience.

INSIGHT

Slut Soul Is Identity, Not Shame

Jordan distinguishes between being 'horny' and having a 'slut soul,' explaining that a slut soul involves loving multiple partners openly.
He embraces his slut soul as a fundamental part of his identity, even within relationships.

INSIGHT

Jealousy Isn't Relationship Ender

Jordan believes jealousy is an overrated feeling in relationships and not always a deal breaker.
He suggests honesty is more important than jealousy and that feeling jealousy is normal and manageable.

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As Zach rightfully quips in his intro, Justin Firstman is a TV writer-turned-center of attention. While the Long Island-born 33-year-old became a viral smash seemingly out of nowhere with his Instagram impressions series in the early months of the pandemic (biggest hit an impression of banana bread’s publicist), Firstman had been honing his craft for a minute, writing and starring in whip-smart, subversive shorts like Men Don’t Whisper and Call Your Father, as well as working as a writer on the acclaimed, five-season run of the series Search Party.

But just before the pandemic his life fell apart, the TV project he’d been working on collapsed as did his long-term relationship, and then he was trapped inside like the rest of us. Which is when he started churning out his impressions series, which blew up, in part, because Ariana Grande started reposting his skits.

We discuss all this, plus his debut album Secrets, a genre-jumping comedy record that grew out of an appeal to his followers to confess their secrets which he would then post anonymously. And people would spill the wildest, most out of pocket tidbits. The record features everyone from Rufus Wainwright to Julia Fox to the dude from the Bloodhound Gang. We delve into the songs and also discuss his coming out, his theory on being a slut-soul, his sexual awakening at legendary Berlin club Berghain, and his complicated relationship with both the internet and the transactional town that is LA.

Plus he educates Dan on dark rooms, talks TV show English Teacher (in which he’s a recurring character), and discusses working with his friend Rachel Sennott on her new upcoming show. Not to mention sex party etiquette and starring in the Sebastián Silva-directed art house film Rotting in the Sun, in which he took part in unsimulated on-screen sex. And that’s just the, ahem, tip, of the iceberg.

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