731: Why We Owe People Honesty | Deep Dive

8 snips

Sep 29, 2022

The discussion delves into the transformative power of honesty in relationships, emphasizing its role in building trust and deepening connections. It reveals how honesty attracts like-minded individuals and fosters a culture of authenticity. The hosts explore the delicate balance of delivering candid feedback while maintaining empathy, illustrating that sometimes, discretion is just as important as honesty. Finally, listeners are teased with insights into the psychology of honesty and its intriguing links to understanding psychopathy.

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INSIGHT

Honesty as Kindness

True kindness is candor, valuing long-term success over short-term feelings.
Withholding criticism elevates comfort over growth, creating weakness.

ANECDOTE

Sam Harris on Feedback

Sam Harris recounts receiving harsh but valuable feedback on his writing.
He emphasizes that withholding criticism can lead to greater pain later.

INSIGHT

Honesty Deepens Relationships

Self-censoring weakens relationships by avoiding difficult conversations.
It prioritizes comfort over growth and genuine connection.

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Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabe (@GabeMizrahi) take a deep dive into the pros and cons of candor, how honesty is a core element of all healthy and productive relationships, and why we owe it to others — as well as ourselves.

What We Discuss:

Honesty deepens relationships. It requires a great deal of trust and confidence — in ourselves and in our friends — and it implies a whole new conception of what friendship actually is.
Honesty attracts people who share your values. You’ll draw people into your life who also value candor, and you’ll distance yourself from people who aren’t interested in an authentic relationship.
Honesty secures honesty in return. When you’re honest with the people in your life, you also signal to them that they can be honest with you.
How to be honest — without being honestly the worst. Deciding to be honest with a friend doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily right. It just means that you’re willing to share an authentic response, and then explore it with the other person to arrive at the best possible conclusion.
How to recognize that there are times when it’s okay to not be honest. For all the benefits of radical honesty, it's wise to be aware of situations in which honesty will not serve you well — or where total candor just isn’t appropriate.
And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/731

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Miss the show we did with James Fallon — the psychiatry professor who can teach you how to spot a psychopath because he is a psychopath? Catch up here with episode 28: James Fallon | How to Spot a Psychopath!

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