ROUND 1: If you're thinking about gettin' it on in certain military towns, you might wanna pack a pecker parachute, ‘cause turns out they've got some of the highest STD rates in the country. We'll tell ya all the hot spots.

ROUND 2: Speaking of picking up some bad stuff out in town, we asked our Twitter followers “What is the dumbest thing you bought right after boot camp/basic training?” From bootleg electronics to spur of the moment engagement rings your answers did not disappoint.

ROUND 3: Aloha! More like Oh no, brahhh. Three civilians on a smoked-out joy ride ran into a majorrr buzzkill when they triggered a lockdown at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam

ROUND 4: Somehow a horned up West Point cadet failed his mission to bring porn star Diamond Foxx to his Winter formal, even after setting up a GoFundMe..

ROUND 5: Some British Royal Marines are right bothered with their Prince, bruv. ‘Arry is bloody bound for Canada with his yank lass and the Royal Marines are ready to tell their prince to bugger off. We'll get to the bottom or Bob's your uncle!

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ZBT #231: Horny West Point Cadet Denied Dream Date + Dumbest Thing You Bought Right Out Of Boot Camp