On The Patrick Madrid Show, listener Amari from South Bend, Indiana calls in with a classic Catholic dating dilemma: Should she marry her boyfriend even though he’s not Catholic?

She’s been with her boyfriend for over two years, and they’re talking marriage. But there’s a big issue: she wants to raise their kids Catholic, send them to Catholic school, and keep the faith at the center of their family life. Her boyfriend? Not so much. He thinks Catholic school will make the kids weird and isn’t sold on the Church at all.

Patrick's Red Flags Are Flashing

Patrick believes that this is a major red flag. He reminds Amari that marriage is already hard enough without adding fundamental disagreements about faith into the mix. If she marries a man who isn’t on board with her Catholic values now, what happens when Sunday morning rolls around and she’s taking the kids to Mass alone while he stays home watching the game?

Patrick shares a sobering stat: When dads don’t actively practice the faith, their kids are far more likely to leave it, even if mom is super devout.

What Should Amari Do?

Patrick encourages Amari to think long-term:

Marriage thrives in unity: finding a Catholic spouse will make faith-based family life way easier.

Don’t bank on a future conversion: Yes, God can work miracles, but assuming your spouse will “come around” is risky.

Read up! He recommends Steve Wood’s books:

The ABCs of Choosing a Good Husband (for Amari)

The ABCs of Finding a Good Wife (for her boyfriend: Valentine’s Day gift, maybe?)

Final Thoughts: Love vs. Faith

Patrick isn’t trying to be overly critical, but he wants her to be realistic. If her faith is deeply important to her, she needs to consider what marrying someone with different beliefs could mean for her future, her kids, and even her own spiritual life.

Amari seems open to Patrick’s advice and says she’ll talk to her boyfriend and check out those books. Will she call back in six months with an update? We’ll see. But for now, Patrick leaves her with one big piece of advice: Don’t ignore the red flags.

Homily at Camp St. Thekla - Sts Peter and Paul