Sleeping Around What Is Kink? Understanding BDSM with Stefani Goerlich
Jun 11, 2025
Stefani Goerlich, a certified sex therapist and author specializing in BDSM and kink, joins to unravel the world of kink and BDSM. She explains the components of BDSM, emphasizing that it's about consensual exchanges of control. Stefani shares tips for introducing kink to partners using media, and suggests beginner practices to ease into these dynamics. Breaking stereotypes, she reassures that desires are valid and discusses the key differences between consensual kink and abuse. A must-listen for anyone curious about exploring their fantasies!
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From Survivor Advocacy To Kink Therapy
- Stefani Goerlich described moving from domestic violence advocacy into sex therapy after seeing bias against kink in training.
- She wrote The Leather Couch early in her training to address clinicians' blind spots about kinky people.
BDSM As Three Separate Exchanges
- Stefani breaks BDSM into three linked but distinct exchanges: control (bondage), authority (dominance/submission), and sensation (sadism/masochism).
- These elements can overlap or operate independently across relationships and contexts.
Kink Is Relational, Not Always Sexual
- Stefani emphasizes BDSM and kink are always relational but only sometimes sexual.
- People can enjoy rope, ritual, or intense sensation without sexual arousal or another person.
