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Why Male Loneliness Is Everyone’s Problem (So Many Men Feel This—But Can’t Say It)

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Feb 2, 2026

Guest

Ron Busby

Ron Busby, co-founder/head of product of Buy Black and correspondent, shares lived perspectives on male alienation and manosphere culture. He discusses how economic and social forces reshape male connection. Conversations touch on online ecosystems that profit from isolation, rising appearance pressures, dating app dynamics, and practical paths toward community and empathy.

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INSIGHT

Pandemic Plus Tech Fueled Widespread Loneliness

Loneliness rose across the board after the pandemic and tech amplified it through superficial online interactions.
Jean and Cherie call this 'social snacking' which replaces synchronous, quality human connection.

insights

INSIGHT

Male Loneliness Often Manifests As Public Anger

Men often express distress as anger because cultural norms limit other emotional outlets.
Cherie argues that male loneliness becomes public harm because anger can externalize and affect others.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Dating A Man With Few Close Friends

Cherie recounted dating a man who lacked close friends and displayed macho, one-up energy with her friends.
She noticed avoidant behavior, gaming, and inward retreat that strained their relationship.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Defining Loneliness and Early COVID Effects

18:46 • 1min

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Male Alienation vs. Loneliness

19:48 • 4min

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The Manosphere and Profit Motives

23:19 • 42sec

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Male Loneliness: Public Versus Private

24:01 • 3min

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Behavioral Signs: Solitary Activities Rising

27:16 • 3min

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Appearance Pressure and 'Chad' Culture

30:05 • 7min

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Progress or More Pressure?

36:35 • 3min

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Dating, Algorithms, and Capitalism

39:30 • 2min

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Practical Solutions Men Can Try

41:07 • 5min

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What Women and Society Can Do

Katharine A. Phillips

Harrison Pope

Roberto Olivardia

#4717

• Mentioned in 9 episodes

The will to change

men, masculinity, and love

Javier Saez

Marta Pera Cucurell

Bell Hooks

In 'The Will to Change', bell hooks, along with Javier Saez and Marta Pera Cucurell, provides a compassionate and insightful exploration of masculinity and its impact on men's emotional lives. The book encourages men to break free from traditional masculine norms and to develop a healthier, more emotionally expressive form of masculinity. It delves into the complexities of male identity, love, and relationships, offering practical advice and theoretical frameworks for personal growth and societal change.

#23778

• Mentioned in 2 episodes

Here for It

Or, How to Save Your Soul in America; Essays

R. Eric Thomas

Here for It is a memoir-in-essays that explores identity, belonging, and self-acceptance through R. Eric Thomas's personal experiences. The book delves into his struggles with being black, queer, and Christian in America, offering a mix of humor and heartfelt reflections. Thomas navigates various environments, from suburban high school to Ivy League college, and shares his journey of self-discovery and resilience.

#1836

• Mentioned in 22 episodes

The Second Sex

Simone de Beauvoir

In 'The Second Sex', Simone de Beauvoir delves into the concept of feminism by examining historical facts, biological differences, psychoanalytic theories, and societal myths that have led to the subjugation of women. The book is divided into two volumes: 'Facts and Myths' and 'Lived Experience'. Beauvoir argues that women are not inherently inferior but are made so by societal constructs and historical injustices. She critiques the notion that women are defined as 'The Other' in relation to men, emphasizing that this distinction denies women their humanity and autonomy. The book explores various stages of a woman's life, from childhood to old age, highlighting how societal forces condition women into accepting passive and dependent roles. Beauvoir advocates for women's equality and autonomy, particularly through economic independence and the ability to support themselves through work.

#27739

• Mentioned in 2 episodes

We Should All Be Feminists

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

In 'We Should All Be Feminists', Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie compellingly argues that we must challenge long-held beliefs and gender stereotypes to achieve gender equality. The book, which is a modified version of her 2012 TEDx talk, uses humor and personal anecdotes to highlight the need for a cultural shift. Adichie discusses the problems with people's perception of the word feminism, critiques the construction of masculinity, and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing the often masked realities of sexual politics. She advocates for a form of contemporary feminism that is inclusive and aims to create equal opportunities for women and men, arguing that empowering women does not diminish opportunities for men but rather creates a more inclusive and prosperous society.

• Mentioned in 33 episodes

Between the World and Me

Ta-Nehisi Coates

Between the World and Me is a personal and literary exploration of America's racial history. Written as a series of letters to his 15-year-old son, Samori, Ta-Nehisi Coates reflects on his own experiences growing up in Baltimore, his education at Howard University, and his career as a journalist. The book delves into the realities of being Black in America, including the historical and ongoing impacts of slavery, segregation, police brutality, and mass incarceration. Coates shares personal anecdotes and historical insights to prepare his son for the challenges he will face as a Black man in America, while also offering a broader critique of American society and its treatment of Black bodies. The book is a powerful and emotional exploration of identity, history, and the struggle for racial justice.

#2223

• Mentioned in 18 episodes

Gender Trouble

Feminism and the Subversion of Identity

Judith Butler

In 'Gender Trouble,' Judith Butler challenges traditional notions of gender and sex, arguing that gender is not an innate or natural aspect of human identity but rather a social construct that is performed and reinforced through societal norms and behaviors. Butler distinguishes between sex, which refers to biological traits, and gender, which is a constructed category. She introduces the concept of 'performativity,' suggesting that gender is created through repeated actions and performances. The book critiques the binary gender system and explores how non-normative sexual practices and identities can subvert and challenge traditional gender categories. Butler's work has been influential in feminist theory, queer theory, and LGBTQ activism, and continues to be a foundational text in gender studies.

#3256

• Mentioned in 13 episodes

Giovanni's Room

James Baldwin

Published in 1956, 'Giovanni's Room' is a groundbreaking novel by James Baldwin that delves into the life of David, a young American expatriate in Paris. David is caught between his desire for Giovanni, an Italian bartender, and his engagement to Hella, an American woman. The novel explores themes of love, shame, guilt, and the internal conflicts that arise from societal expectations and personal identity. As David navigates his relationships and grapples with his sexuality, the story unfolds into a tragic confrontation with the consequences of his choices and the unspoken complexities of the human heart.

#15969

• Mentioned in 3 episodes

Loneliness

Vivek Murthy

Thank you SoFi for sponsoring this video. Sign up here: https://www.sofi.com/TigerPlus

Is the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” actually an epidemic, or is there something else going on here? Are men actually lonelier than women, or just louder about it? Why is male loneliness framed as a public crisis, while female loneliness is treated as a private burden? After examining the increase in loneliness across the board, Jean and Cherie sit down with first ever “Male Correspondent,” Ron Busby, to learn more about his experiences and ideate on solutions.

This episode is for anyone who’s been affected by loneliness or isolation in one way or another, and anyone who wants to help build a more connected world.

If this conversation brings up difficult feelings or you’re struggling with loneliness or depression, you’re not alone. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — a free, confidential support line available 24/7

📖 Additional Resources from Ron:

For men:

The Will to Change—by Bell Hooks

The Adonis Complex—by Harrison Pope

Masculinities—by Raewyn Connell

Giovanni’s Room—by James Baldwin

For women:

We Should All be Feminists—by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The Second Sex—by Simone de Beauvoir

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity—by Judith Butler

For a better community:

Here for It—by R. Eric Thomas

Between the World and Me—by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Loneliness—by John T. Cacioppo

If you want to get involved in the work Ron is doing:

@ronbusbyjr across all socials for personal updates

@seedthevote to get involved in volunteering (door knocking and talking to rural communities during election seasons; flights/hotels/rental cars covered.)

@byblack.us - Ron’s day job :)

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⏰ Timestamps

0:00: Cold Open

1:12: Introduction

1:36: Three action items for today’s episode

3:57: Defining loneliness in its many forms

7:06: Scott Galloway on rising levels of loneliness in men

8:25: Male loneliness as a public vs private problem

11:05: Did Cherie just solve male loneliness via gardening?

18:18: Welcoming Ron Busby to the show

19:38: Male loneliness vs male alienation

22:48: Defining the “manosphere”

27:50: Exploring an inclusive strategy to alleviating male loneliness

29:36 Defining a “Chad”

30:40: New beauty standards for men

39:00: Analyzing male loneliness in the dating world

40:45: Solutions for men and women to alleviate the issue

48:00 Lasting thoughts and key takeaways

✅ 988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineCall or text: 988Chat: 988lifeline.orgAvailability: 24/7, free, confidentialThis is the gold standard right now. It’s not only for people in immediate suicidal crisis — it’s also for those feeling lonely, depressed, overwhelmed or supporting someone else who’s struggling. If you’re outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com to locate a local support line in your country.

Why trust us?

▫️ Cherie Brooke Luo — 100M+ views demystifying tech, finance & MBAs

▫️ Jean Luo — ex-Goldman Sachs, ex-Snapchat exec, 50+ AI patents, startup investor

▫️ Together: 4 Ivy League degrees • built billion-dollar products • two startups — decoded for you

What you’ll get (and keep):

▫️ 🚀 Ivy League cheat sheets — no $250K tuition

▫️ Personal finance playbooks (salary, investing, negotiation)

▫️ Networking scripts behind $100M+ deals & job offers

▫️ Real conversations with CEOs, operators & investors

💛 LET’S CONNECT

~ CHERIE ~

Instagram — /cherie.brooke

TikTok — /cherie.brooke

Substack — cherieluo.substack.com

LinkedIn — /cherie-luo

~ JEAN ~

Instagram — /jeanluo_

LinkedIn — /jeanluo

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