Dear Caitlin Flanagan and Suzy Weiss: A Free Press Advice Special!

Aug 13, 2024

In this lively conversation, Caitlin Flanagan, a writer for The Atlantic known for her keen insights, explores the pitfalls of modern advice culture. She critiques bad advice, particularly in personal relationships, like the one involving a daughter's polyamorous affair. The discussion also addresses the delicate balance of maintaining friendships amidst political differences and parenting dilemmas with humor and candor. Flanagan highlights our desperate need for genuine wisdom while injecting relatable anecdotes and thought-provoking commentary throughout the dialogue.

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ADVICE

Maintaining Friendships

Stay steady and avoid political arguments with friends.
Preserve friendships during difficult times; you will need each other.

ADVICE

Parenting and Smartphones

Delay giving your child a smartphone to protect them from harmful content.
Set boundaries, even if your child dislikes them, as this demonstrates love.

ADVICE

Stepparenting Advice

Stepparents should avoid intervening in a child's relationship with their biological parent.
Support your partner privately, but avoid public conflict with the other parent.

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Never before have people felt more comfortable weighing in on other people’s lives.

What diet to do, what to wear, how to make yourself attractive to the opposite sex, whether or not you should put money into that new crypto coin, if you should let your kids self-soothe, and on and on—but most of it, this endless supply of advice, is actually pretty bad.

Weekly popular advice columns, like Dear Abby and Ask E. Jean, have vanished. And in their place is finger-wagging, political posturing, and straight-up bad tips.

A New York Times reader sought advice on how to deal with her daughter, who is in a polyamorous relationship with a married man. She wrote, “My daughter tells me she would like to bring this man on our family trip to Greece this year. It may be petty, but I don’t want to foot the bill for another woman’s husband. And I don’t see any way this relationship can lead to my daughter’s happiness. Should I lay out my boundaries and risk my daughter not joining me on vacation?”

Instead of saying what any sane person would, which is: “Get this man as far away from your daughter as possible,” The New York Times advised the mother to shut up and do better. “This is about respecting your adult daughter’s choices. As a show of respect, read up on polyamory before you broach the subject with her.”

The thing is, we’re in an advice desert, but we’ve never been in greater need of good advice.

Some people consult friends, therapists, or tarot readers when they need direction in life. Other people pray or go to confession. Many people seek the advice of a mentor.

But at The Free Press, we like to visit this woman who lives on a hill in Pasadena and makes a mean onion dip. Her name is Caitlin Flanagan. You may have read her writing in The Atlantic, or you may have read her book Girl Land or On Thinking for Yourself. Caitlin is someone who has her finger on the pulse. Whether you’re reading her essays, her books, or her Twitter feed, she is just always right.

So today, Free Press reporter Suzy Weiss and Atlantic writer Caitlin Flanagan are here to answer your questions about. . . everything, from relationships to politics to children to animals (yes, animals)!

If you liked what you heard from Honestly, the best way to support us is to go to thefp.com and become a Free Press subscriber today.

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