Episode 72: Not wanting to deal: My story of running away and hiding

Preface: I got this email awhile back from an ass kicker:

“The first podcast I heard from you, you seemed like a perky, outgoing blonde – and these are all great things, but I must admit, when looking at you, we might think “oh, she’s never been through anything. Yeah, she has great things to say, but does she know what this is like?” ….and then upon listening further, I learned your earlier life actually very much mirrors my own. It was not only comforting but also a lesson learned about first impressions.” -YKAL blog reader

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I’ve been sitting on this blog post/podcast episode for months now, unpublished. It’s a huge part of my story, what went on in my 20′s emotionally that led me to my big breakdown/breakthrough in 2006. I’ve hesitated to take the leap and publish it because it’s long, it’s probably the most imperfect piece of writing I’ve ever written, but mostly because every time I take a giant leap into vulnerability I still hear the voice of “OMG what will people think of you?”

But, the truth is (and I know this from experience…and science) is that we all have a painful story. And the more we abandon it and keep it locked up the more painful it is and it helps no one. And really, that’s just shitty.

What I know for sure is that we can’t bury our stories alive and expect them to die. They don’t. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I feel lucky to get to share my stories here. Sometimes scared, but still lucky. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

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