Aaron Rivera, known for his insightful leadership in men’s groups, brings his unique perspective on vulnerability and authentic connections. He discusses the complexities of friendship, emphasizing the need for non-romantic love and community support. The conversation tackles the often-taboo subjects of sexuality and personal growth, highlighting how shared experiences can foster deeper bonds. Aaron also delves into redefining masculinity, urging men to embrace vulnerability and authenticity, while reflecting on life’s transient nature and the importance of living genuinely.
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insights INSIGHT
Brotherhood and Hierarchy
Hierarchy is an important aspect of social organization, especially in men's work.
Brotherhood provides a laboratory for experiencing hierarchy, leadership, and power, but the goal is to learn to share power.
insights INSIGHT
Grief, Prayer, and Work
Grieving together, revealing vulnerabilities, allows for deeper connection and shared intention.
Shared grief creates a foundation for aligned values and effective collaboration.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Frog Anecdote
Christopher Ryan tells a story about catching a frog while on acid.
The frog only approached him when he stopped trying to force the interaction, illustrating a metaphor for life.
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The Call of the Wild follows the story of Buck, a Saint Bernard and Scotch Shepherd mix, who is abducted from his comfortable life as a pet in California and sold to work as a sled dog in the Yukon during the Klondike Gold Rush. Buck faces brutal treatment and harsh conditions but eventually finds kindness with John Thornton. As Buck navigates his new life, he is torn between his loyalty to Thornton and his growing desire to answer the 'call of the wild'. The novel explores themes of survival, individualism, and the conflict between nature and nurture, reflecting London's experiences and observations during his time in the Yukon.
White Fang
Jack London
The story follows White Fang, a half-wolf, half-dog, from his birth in the wild to his eventual domestication. Born to a she-wolf named Kiche, White Fang faces numerous challenges, including famines, hostile treatment from other dogs, and cruel human owners. He is initially raised by Grey Beaver, an Indian, and later falls into the hands of the abusive dog-fighter Beauty Smith. However, his life takes a significant turn when he is rescued by Weedon Scott, a kind and patient gold hunter who tames him and takes him to California. There, White Fang learns to trust and love his new master and eventually becomes a cherished family pet, demonstrating the power of nurture over nature[1][3][4].
I met Aaron at the Budokon retreat this summer, and I was immediately impressed by his candor, kindness, and the depth of his intellect. Then, when I learned that he led men’s groups, I thought he’d be a great guest for the podcast, since I know little about that world and, in fact, have some resistance to what often ends up being somewhat exploitative of men’s very real sense of alienation and desperation. But Aaron seemed like the real deal, so I invited him to set me straight on that.
Please check out Khuda, the app I mentioned, and let Pete Lord and me know what you think.
Intro music “Brightside of the Sun,” by Basin and Range. “Stand by Me,” by Ben E. King, performed by Stephen Wilson, Jr. (video below). Outro: “Smoke Alarm,” by Carsie Blanton.
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Tangentially Speaking with Christopher Ryan 
