Dr. Katharine Esty’s husband was seriously ill when she turned 80. It put her in a funk. Even hiking with her family, an ordinary event, sent her deeper into the doldrums. Katharine couldn’t make it to the top of a favorite hill during one hike and it (removed only) made her realize she couldn’t keep doing everything she did.

She decided it was time for research. As a psychotherapist, Katharine knew what to do. She searched for a diverse group of people across the country in their 80s to interview: men and women, most were flourishing, primarily in a positive economic space; most lived independently, some in retirement communities and a few in nursing homes. She interviewed some of their children, too, to understand how family dynamics changed as elders aged.

“I was paralyzed with fear about aging until I began to feel, 'I can do this.' My picture of aging was completely out of date." Dr. Katharine Esty

The conclusion was very clear. The picture she held of old age was completely out of date. Her image came from her grandparents’ lives and that provided a grim reality. Some 11 million people are in their 80s today and this group is growing faster than any other decade. Her research revealed that, in part, people are thriving due to modern medicine and can continue to enjoy active, pain-free lives as long as they are healthy. Surprisingly, they are much happier. They stay involved, continue to learn, and have a purpose. This happiness is psychological and stems from having dropped regrets and striving in the rat race, as well as feeling gratitude for just being alive.

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Book: Eightysomethings: A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding Unexpected Happiness

Available at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Eightysomethings-Transitions-Letting-Unexpected-Happiness/dp/151074312X

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