Dealing With the Guilt of Not Being Okay

Dr Nik Kendrew unravels why we experience overwhelming guilt when bad things happen to us. He also shares some tips, techniques, and resources to cope with difficult times and circumstances. Apart from this, Nik talks about the significance of scheduling our entire day to do important things. Finally, he discusses why setting boundaries is necessary to maintain our sense of self.

If you want to learn how to stop feeling guilty when uncontrollable things happen to you, then stay tuned to this episode! 

Episode Highlights

[6:10] About the Boggle Docs

• Nik hosts the Boggle Docs. He gets to invite guests and talk about popular TV shows or movies portraying medical issues. 

[9:43] Dr Nik, the 100th Episode’s Guest

• Nik was invited over for the 100th episode because he was the podcast's first guest. 

[13:16] Nik’s Heart Problem

• On his way to work, Nik suddenly had difficulty in breathing and experienced terrible chest pain. A paramedic immediately came to his aid and found he was experiencing Atrial Fibrillation. 

[16:56] After the Incident

• Nik just felt awful for letting people down even though they told him to rest. 
• Guilt means feeling sorry for something we did or did not do. 

[18:31] The Feeling of Guilt Among Doctors

• Nik felt guilty for things he could control. 
• What you feel during stressful situations is a normal physiological response. 

[19:41] Give Yourself a Break

• If you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do, you feel responsible for the people who are left to pick up the pieces. 

[20:51] Gaslighting in Health Care Service

• The health care service is already on its knees before the pandemic. 
• When COVID-19 happened, primary care had to change drastically. 

[23:43] How To Cope With Stress and Pressure

• When times are tough, it helps to take it one step at a time and keep going. 

[27:03] Why Stay In the Present

• Staying in the present teaches that there is calm within you. 

[29:04] Substitute Stress for Happiness

• Others say they’ll only be happy if they get to complete their goals. 
• However, there will always be something in our lives that will be unfinished. 

[29:55] Why Achieving Your Goals Would Not Make You Happy

• We are preparing ourselves for failure by setting unachievable goals. 

[34:08] Focus On What’s Important

• When you block off time to do something, it takes away stress because you know there’s a plan. 

[39:27] Set Your Boundaries

• When you are in stressful situations, focus on things you can change. 
• Listen to your body. It will enforce its limits. 

Resources

• Check out our Permission to Thrive CPD membership for doctors.
• Find out more about the Shapes Toolkit training, talks and workshops.
• Sign up here for more free resources.
• Join the Shapes Collective FB group.
• Become a member of the Resilient Team Academy!
• Are you interested in joining our You Are Not A Frog retreat? Or perhaps you have some questions about failure. Drop us an email at hello@youarenotafrog.com to let us know!

Mentioned in this episode:

Escape the Urgency Trap masterclass
A 90-minute training for doctors and other busy professionals working in high-stress, high-stakes jobs like healthcare.