The Opinions Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn’t Real
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Jan 28, 2026 
Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist with decades of work on love and intimacy, explores how AI creates a safe, frictionless mimicry of connection. She discusses AI’s patterned voice, the loss of embodied otherness, ethical accountability, and how bots reshape our longings and expectations. Short, provocative reflections on what real intimacy requires.
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Perel Uses AI To Organize Thoughts
- Esther Perel uses AI to structure and summarize her writing, noting it favors tidy lists and choreography of information.
- She finds that pattern useful but sometimes prefers returning to a book for richer complexity.
Love Is An Embodied Ethical Encounter
- Esther Perel argues love is more than feelings; it is an embodied encounter with responsibility and ethics.
- Physical gestures, rhythm, and shared embodiment distinguish human love from AI interactions.
AI Removes The Friction That Teaches Us
- Perel says AI seeks to eliminate otherness, uncertainty, and the risk of breakup, offering pliant, frictionless pleasure.
- That elimination undermines the very elements that make human relationships generative and demanding.