How to Value Self-Love and Sexual Pleasure when Living with a Disability: an Occupational Therapist’s Approach

Dr. Sakshi Tickoo (she/her/hers) is a Mumbai-based Occupational Therapist, Personal Counselor and Student Mentor specializing in the fields of Sexuality; Mental Health - Wellness and Rehabilitation. She has served a diverse group of people through home healthcare, telehealth, and school-based settings. She is also the founder and owner of Sex, Love, And OT and The OT Shop.

Sex, Love, and OT is an inclusive and comprehensive platform educating and serving healthcare providers and clients who need tools and resources to advocate for sexual rights and liberation through education, centering pleasure, and freedom of occupational engagement in sexuality towards holistic wellness.

Cheryl Crow is an occupational therapist who has lived with rheumatoid arthritis for seventeen years. Her life passion is helping others with rheumatoid arthritis figure out how to live a full life despite arthritis, by developing tools to navigate physical, emotional and social challenges. She formed the educational company Arthritis Life in 2019 after seeing a huge need for more engaging, accessible, and (dare I say) FUN patient education and self-management resources. 

Links discussed in this episode:

• Sakshi’s social links:
  • Website: sexloveandot.com / the-ot-shop.myshopify.com
  • Instagram: @sex.love.andot / @the_otshop
  • Facebook: @SexLoveAndOT / @TheOTShop
• Free Handout: Cheryl’s Master Checklist for Managing RA
• Cheryl’s Facebook group: Arthritis Life Podcast, Practical Tips & Positive, Realistic Support
• This episode is brought to you by the Rheumatoid Arthritis Roadmap, your guide to living a full life with RA. It’s an intensive online education and support program Cheryl created to empower people with the tools to confidently manage their social, emotional and physical life with rheumatoid arthritis.
• Pie chart for time management / scheduling
• Promoting sexiness for disability hashtag on social media: #DisabledPeopleAreHot
• The Five Love Languages Book
• Dr. John Gottman marriage researcher - “Four Horsemen” for marriage

Medical disclaimer: All content found on the Arthritis Life public channels was created for generalized informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Episode breakdown:

• 1:00 – Dr. Tickoo’s story: why she became an occupational therapist  
• 3:25 – How Dr. Tickoo discovered the niche of sex and relationships 
• 7:46 – How an occupational therapist can facilitate a client’s engagement in sex and relationships
• 12:19- How to gain occupational therapy clinical knowledge of how to address sex outside of your textbooks 
• 14:09 – The barriers for people with chronic illnesses face for sexual participation and intimacy 
• 18:06 – Advice on how to feel sexy while living with chronic illness 
• 22:26 -   Giving yourself permission to enjoy sex 
• 26:15 – How sex is taboo in India and what Dr. Tickoo does to be sex positive
• 33:45 – The difference between physical & emotional intimacy
• 36:48 – Communication about intimacy with your partner and how to handle power dynamics 
• 42:00 – The importance of knowing your partner’s love language 
• 46:00– How adults have sensory regulation needs and how chronic pain affects sensory processing
• 51:00 – When to mention that you have a chronic condition or disability when dating
• 54:51- Tips & tricks for intimacy with your partner when you have arthritis: scheduling, connection, experimentation, positioning aids and more
• 1:06:45 - The importance of client education about the basics of their condition
• 1:08:45 - How to choose a good lubricant
• 1:11:00 - Recommended toys
• 1:13:00 - “Everything can be sexy [including aids] as long as you think it’s sexy.”
• 1:13:55 - What is pleasure mapping and how can it help?
• 1:17:00   - Concluding thoughts