#300: Tools for Fixing Too Many Tantrums & Clinginess
Aug 11, 2022
auto_awesome
Decode toddler behavior and improve it by considering various factors. Understand and manage tantrums by addressing emotional development, individual temperament, and conflicting needs. Meet children's needs through connection, regulation, and boundaries. Sponsors featured: Factor and Pureo Air. Set boundaries, offer emotional support, and track triggers with a tantrum chart. Develop emotional understanding through books, games, and creative activities.
Providing emotional support through hugging, holding, and snuggling helps toddlers regulate their emotions and reduce tantrums.
Offering positive reinforcement and teaching emotional skills can support a four-year-old's emotional development and improve behavior.
Deep dives
Understanding Toddler Tantrums and Emotional Needs
Toddlers around two and a half are still developing the neurological capacity to manage big feelings, resulting in frequent tantrums. They struggle with balancing the need for autonomy and security, often testing the latter by seeking constant connection with their caregiver. Providing emotional support through hugging, holding, and snuggling can help regulate their emotions and reduce the length and frequency of tantrums. Offering options for working through emotions, such as holding or working through independently, can empower them. For high-needs toddlers, getting additional support and relief is crucial. This approach should be followed consistently for two weeks to observe improvements in their ability to regulate emotions and show more autonomy.
Setting Boundaries and Providing Emotional Support
When a toddler reacts with tantrums due to not getting their way, it is essential to offer emotional support without giving in to their demands. This is particularly true when it involves non-negotiable items or actions. Hugging, holding, and snuggling should be prioritized to help them calm down. However, if hitting or kicking occurs, setting boundaries is necessary while still offering emotional support. Consistency in emotional support and holding boundaries helps them regulate their emotions and reduces the need for extreme reactions over time.
Identifying Abnormal Behavior in a Four-Year-Old
A four-year-old's behavior characterized by intense screeching, kicking, throwing, hitting, and opposition may raise concerns. While saying unkind things and showing aggressive behavior towards classmates is not unusual, the frequency and duration of these behaviors indicate a potential issue. Further assessment by a pediatrician and consultation with a psychologist are recommended to evaluate the situation fully. Meanwhile, focusing on positive reinforcement and teaching emotional skills during calm moments can help improve behavior.
Promoting Emotional Development in a Four-Year-Old
To support a four-year-old's emotional development, offering positive feedback for desired behaviors is crucial. Building emotional competence can be done through various activities like reading books, using flashcards, and playing games related to emotions. Encouraging the expression and exploration of emotions through drawing, painting, and discussing music can also be helpful. Creating a positive feedback loop and developing emotional skills during calm moments will enable healthier expression of feelings and improve behavior.
Toddler behavior can be overwhelming and even baffling. In this episode I share some basics of toddler behavior so you can more easily decode it, as well as ideas for improvement. Once we can decode it, we can make a plan for improvement. But we have to take several factors into consideration. Learn what these factors are, tools for decoding toddler behavior and ideas for improving behavior through teaching and guiding.
