458: Three Simple Phrases Your Kids Need to Hear from You // Eli Harwood

You know that sting in your chest when one of your kids says "I hate you" or slams their door in anger? Every instinct in you wants to smooth it over, to fix it, to make them not be mad at you anymore. But what if your discomfort with their anger is actually getting in the way of the connection you're trying to build?

In this episode, I'm talking with my longtime friend Eli Harwood, known online as Attachment Nerd. She's a licensed therapist, attachment expert, and bestselling author who earned secure attachment in her own life after a difficult childhood. Eli shares three simple phrases her mom said to her that helped heal their relationship and build trust between them—phrases any of us can start using today.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why Eli's mom had to convince herself it was okay for Eli to be mad at her

💜 The difference between "right side up" and "upside down" parenting

💜 What Eli thinks about adult children cutting off their parents—and why nobody does this lightly

Even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment modeled for you, even if you've made mistakes, you can start building that bond with your kids today.

For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.

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Announcements:

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Related Episodes:

387: Why Calming Yourself Helps Calm Your Child // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC

386: Raising Securely Attached Kids // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC

367: 3 Ways to Create Lasting Bonds with Your Kids // Mike Westover (Rachel's Dad!)

Episode Sponsors:

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